Now that the ballot has finished for this year, and its chaos has been replaced by the chaos of exams, it’s time to reflect on what went well – or, perhaps more importantly, what went wrong. These observations, I hope, might help to ease the tension that will inevitably ensue the next time the ballot rolls around.

Picture the scene: it’s Lent term of first year, the deadline to submit balloting groups is fast approaching, friendships are on the brink of collapse, everyone is arguing about the relative advantages of onsite/offsite accommodation. The stuff of nightmares. Somehow, in my college, this conversation lasted weeks and weeks. Hours trawling the room database, multiple “we just need to decide” texts, people committing to endless different groups only to decide that they really were ok with the first one after all. To be honest, I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to us that it really was never that deep. Ultimately, where you live is what you make of it and the friendships that count do not rely on proximity anyway.

“Where you live is what you make of it”

Step one: priorities

Decide what your priority is: rent? Location? Proximity to friends? Pure aesthetics? The key is having this conversation early. Groups who did not do this were then the ones who then fell out. It’s not ideal when, the night before selecting their rooms, you find out that half the group envisioned the sleek ensuite-clad new build, and half yearned for the slightly-grotty-but-lovable shared house. Chaos.

Step two: to group or not to group

If your priorities don’t match up, go solo! Crazy idea, I know. But in a college system, often everybody has the chance to interact anyway. When you can meet in hall, in the bar, in the library, living in a different building to your friends doesn’t seem so life-altering after all. Who knows – maybe you’ll enjoy the space!

If you’re finding a group, be honest about it. Commit to people you actually want to live with, and don’t accidentally become part of multiple groups out of panic/pity/a taste for chaos. Sit down with your friends, decide, and stick to it. This will make everyone’s lives easier and there isn’t really enough time in a Cambridge term to be going endlessly back and forth.

“That level of awkwardness is surely not worth the risk”

Step three: avoid the couples

Now, to the couples, save everyone some trouble and don’t ballot together. The lovely cohesive vibe of the flat might not quite be the same if two fifths of its occupants suddenly can’t bear to be in the same room. Maybe all will go well, and you will get a year of loved-up, conflict-free coexistence, but that level of awkwardness is surely not worth the risk.

Step four: survive the switcheroo

Another spanner in the works: the third year ballot order reversal. Suddenly everyone is tactically sussing out how they will fare the next time this ordeal comes around. Cue the hilarious revelation when one of my friends came to the shocking conclusion that another friend proposing living together was, after all, just “using him for sets”. He was eagerly anticipating how balloting together and averaging his (very high) and her (very low) position would result in the best chance of her bagging that all-important set in third year. The ballot is a cut-throat game.

“The ballot is a cut-throat game”

As frustrating as it may be, the ballot reversal is the easiest way to organise accommodation fairly. There’s nothing you can do about your position, so endure your boxy, damp-smelling second year by dreaming about the wonders awaiting you next Michaelmas. Or relish the beauty of your hand-picked second year room, and then reminisce on the fond memories made in it the following year. And if you’re in the middle for both years, respect the consistency. You’ve avoided the peaks and troughs of college accommodation.

Wherever you end up, whoever it’s with, you can make it work. Make friends with new neighbours, hone your interior design skills, and, for the hob-less among us, get inventive with the microwave recipes. Just think, if the accommodation is really that bad, it’ll motivate you to get out to the library. It’s a win-win.

So, ultimately, it’s not that serious. Compared to the stress other uni students go through to find a house externally, our college ballot qualms seem rather insignificant. Find a group, or don’t, make the best of whichever accommodation you end up in, and just try not to lose friendships along the way!