This reviewer would like to offer a heartfelt testimony for Sainsbury’s Basics Vodka. The poison of many an illicit teenage houseparty, this liquor has clearly cottoned onto the fact that your average student boozer is unlikely to purchase anything more expensive than Smirnoff. Which, by the way, tastes utterly filthy and is only mildly preferable to downing shots of paint-stripper. Basics Vodka costs almost half the price of Smirnoff, and though the quality is no doubt reduced by an equally significant percentage, it’s virtually impossible to distinguish the difference between these well-loved dregs of the vodka world.

The only competition that springs to mind is Tesco Value’s equally vomit-inducing product. This, the nemesis to the Basics’ brand, threatens to guillotine Sainsbury’s range with its even more cut-throat prices. Personally, I’d opt for the classier image of Sainsbury’s hooch. Besides, Mill Road is far too long a walk. If we were truly fanatical about vodka, we’d get some of the real, Russian stuff – but you’d have to ask yourself (while you’re sobering up on your friend’s kitchen floor surrounded by the white and orange packaging which proclaims to be ‘just Vodka’) – would that really be in the spirit of Freshers’ Week?