It’s exactly fifteen minutes past the time you told people to arrive. You and your closest friends sit around the table, shoot an obligatory shot to ease the tension, and nervously chatter amidst the low lighting and upbeat music. The kitchen has never felt emptier. You know that no one arrives to a party on time, and you also know that in an hour you will be having fun, but it doesn’t make the beginning any easier to swallow – the exposing, vulnerable intimacy of opening up your home and just hoping that people show up. Anyone who has hosted anything, ever, knows this feeling. But then the first people arrive, and by the middle of the night the start feels like a hazy memory best forgotten

Being a guest means you can enjoy making the host sweat a little, and occupy the privilege of a fashionably late entrance, but someone has to bear the cross of hosting. The return of the house party after a year of living in halls is one of the best surprises Cambridge has to offer – an event that, tragically, I thought I’d left behind in secondary school. If your college is remiss of the apparently elusive Cambridge house, or your kitchen is too small, you have my sincerest pity. And also my advice: get to know someone who does. Call it networking.

“Do not panic that no-one will come and throw your doors open to everybody and their mother just in case”

What were just pre-drinks last year are now the main event. I’m not sure what happened over the summer, but it feels like everyone went from 19 to 30. As clubs (that are, admittedly, full of new, younger, brighter faces) become less appealing, gatherings that bring together different friend groups and actually allow for socialisation rise in their attraction. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I am done with clubs – my week is not complete without at least one visit – but there is something special about only being surrounded by the faces of those you like. And being able to control the music. The mixes (if you can call them that) at Revs, Mash and Kikis never get any better. House parties are also, I’d argue, more economical than a pub and club trip. Admittance is obviously free, unless you have some savvy friends that charge entry, and so you only cover the cost of BYOB (bring your own beverage). Which, I feel I must add, is always a part of guest etiquette.

If you are planning to keep the tradition alive, please have mood lighting (no big lights allowed), put breakables away, keep the doors between rooms open to combat dead space, and do not panic that no-one will come and throw your doors open to everybody and their mother just in case – something that was definitely not learnt from personal experience.

“With permits, deans and porters to deal with, the word ‘host’ begins to feel more and more hollow”

College houses, while offering us the wonders of ovens, freezers, and our own washing machines, are also now prime spaces for socialising. Beyond allowing you to live exclusively with your friends, the bigger rooms and kitchen (and, if you’re extra lucky, garden!) are just begging for a party. They operate that perfect middle ground – distanced independence without the trials of a private landlord. And if you make sure your neighbours are all in attendance, you shouldn’t receive any of those pesky noise complaints either. As long as everybody is inside past twelve.

But, then again, the risk (and reward) of throwing parties under the nose of your parents while they’re away is now replaced by another authority – the porter. We are, or so I’ve heard, adults now, and yet we still have this third party looming over us. Part of me looks with envy at my friends who rent houses privately at other universities; while I am beyond thankful that we do not have to battle with separate bills and uncontrolled rent, it feels like my friends’ houses are more theirs than ours. With permits, deans and porters to deal with, the word ‘host’ begins to feel more and more hollow.

There seems to be one natural conclusion then: if these are the hoops we Cambridge students must jump through, then the party better be worth it. Sober stewards are the new designated drivers, and with both Halloween and Bridgemas coming up, I expect big results.