As the months get colder and winter gets closer, all anyone really craves is a comforting bowl of hot food. But everyone’s version of comfort looks a little different, and for me, the food really depends on my mood. So what kind of mood do you radiate, and which autumnal dish can match it?

A tourist is walking in front of you at an incredibly slow pace, causing you to get stuck in a blockage on King’s Parade. What do you do?

A) Match their pace and meander slowly down the high street

B) Overtake them very carefully and politely, so as to ensure they don’t take offence; you’re British, after all

C) Barge past them and huff, loudly

D) Speed up, shoot them a dirty look for being so oblivious to pedestrian etiquette, and go about your day

E) Stay put, and smile sweetly when they finally turn around to witness the damage they’ve caused

The stranger in front of you at Caffé Nero can’t pay for their drink as their card keeps declining. How do you react?

A) Offer to get theirs alongside your own, and tell them they can pay you back

B) Feel sympathetic as you shuffle meekly up to the counter and order your own

C) Lean forward and say “I’d like to be served someday soon”

D) Sigh and tap your watch dramatically

E) Reach forward to tap your own card on the card machine, and refuse any offers to pay you back, like the saint you are

You’re in the ADC watching a show to support your actress friend, but the people in the row behind won’t shut up. What is your immediate reaction?

A) Sit and accept your fate, reminding yourself that you and your friends would probably do the same

B) Shuffle uncomfortably in your seat and attempt to express your annoyance through subtle body language that they definitely aren’t noticing

C) Hiss “shhhhhhh” loudly, through gritted teeth

D) Whip around in your seat and tell them off for being so self-absorbed

E) Don’t let it bother you, and when they apologise after the show for being a little rowdy, tell them that it’s absolutely fine (it’s not)

Someone fake-falls over onto you at MASH (they want to seem drunker than they are). What do you do?

A) Catch them, steady them, and carry on dancing

B) Laugh it off, though deep down it’s annoyed you

C) Confront their friend group and start an argument

D) Shove them back into place and off of you

E) Kneel down to ask if they’re okay and check if they need any water

Your housemates don’t know what washing up means and the sink is overflowing with dirty pots and pans while the plughole is lined with leftovers. Do you…

A) Move their mess aside and wash your own (not your problem)

B) Send a gentle group chat reminder about the existence of Fairy liquid

C) Bin their dirty things in a fit of rage

D) Drag them downstairs to see their self-made pigsty and demand they sort it out

E) Carry your own washing up to your friend’s (clean) kitchen and do it there, leaving your housemates in peace

If you got mostly A’s…

You’re a huge hearty bowl of tomato and basil soup, accompanied by warm, buttered slices of sourdough – the edible equivalent of a hug. A classic, loved by all, with wholesome energy and a tendency to people please which can mean you’re occasionally taken for granted.

If you got mostly B’s…

You’re a chicken pot pie, with mash and peas (plus litres of gravy); nothing too outstanding but the simple pleasures are reliable and steady, like you. You like what you like and you know what’s right and wrong, but you’re a little on the shy side nevertheless.

If you got mostly C’s…

You’re a beef stew with vegetables and dumplings. Sometimes, you’re a simmering pot of barely-contained fury but only when you’re feeling grumpy, otherwise you’re comforting and loyal. You might seem a little old-school, and stubborn, but you’re the kind that people claim to hate and secretly love, someone who is not afraid to stand up for yourself.

If you got mostly D’s…

You’re a creamy mushroom stroganoff, paired with rice and a glass of wine: sophisticated, with a touch of class, and particular about other peoples’ manners. You have standards (high ones) and other people will know about them, but it’s only because you care deeply, about yourself but also for others.

If you got mostly E’s:

You’re a sticky toffee pudding, served with vanilla custard, extremely generous and probably a little bit too sickly sweet for your own good. You light up the room, and everyone adores you, but sometimes the optimism to your own detriment.