If you’ve never flipped the Monopoly board, illegally trafficked your plastic children in The Game of Life, or cried playing Connect-Four (recently), a night of card and board games might sound like a lot of hearty, good fun.

But for the competitive at heart, or really anyone who grew up with a sibling, the suggestion of an evening consisting entirely of playing games can be akin to proposing a dinner party with Genghis Khan. However, a games night is a wonderful way to get all your friends together and have fun on a budget (especially for friends who prefer a night in rather than a night out).

Since age 19, I’ve played everything from obscure Scandinavian dice games to Catan Seafarers Deluxe Collector’s Edition – often against my will – and I believe that despite all odds, a Cambridge board game shindig can be done, and by golly, be done well!

“Set the mood with some music, turn on the fairy lights and put some snacks out”

So, here are some tips and tricks for the ultimate games night in.

TIP 1 – get your location right

Let me paint you a picture: It’s 11pm at The Mill and you’re five pints in. Someone gets the bright idea to pull out a battered Cards Against Humanity set. You’re dealt three cards about smegma, one card so offensive you have to put it back in the deck, and the rest simply read “9/11”.

You consider putting something sharp in your ear.

Pubs are simply not conducive to board games. Most pieces are usually missing and no one’s really up for it. You also often end up spilling your beer via a particularly impassioned dice throw. I say, scratch the saloon and mosey on homewards! The JCR is good if it’s emptier and you’re hankering for a bit of Just Dance, but from my experience the best place is in the biggest room/flat found in your group. Set the mood with some music, turn on the fairy lights and put some snacks out. Tortilla chips are a fan favourite, especially when you’re looking to pun during poker (though this could cause a swift curtailing of future invitations). Start early in the evening with some drinks handy, and you’ve set yourself up for a very successful evening!

“Break it up with a few rounds of Uno to keep the energy flowing”

TIP 2 – know your circus, know your monkeys

Endeavouring to just “play games” is not enough. You have to do a little bit of planning beforehand to ensure everyone has as much fun in as short a space of time as is humanly possible (no pressure). Are you seriously going to expect people to learn the rules to, create, and follow a twenty-step Warhammer campaign, lasting 45 hours total, day before their weekly essay deadline? Of course not! You’re no monster! Warhammer sucks anyway! If your friends already know the rules to a complex game, by all means play it, but maybe break it up with a few rounds of Uno to keep the energy flowing. Having a nice variety of games means there’ll be something for everyone, and if you’re going to get a leaderboard going, the overall competition will be a lot fairer. Here’s a short list of my expertly tailored suggestions:

• If you want something classic… go for Poker (Texas Hold’em is an easy variant to learn) or Monopoly (start EARLY in the evening).
• If you like cards and dice but you’re too broke to gamble… try Cribbage if you can find it, else go for Yatzi (two dice and a cup) or maybe Irish Snap.
• If you’re going to be a bit tipsy… something easy like Uno or hard like Articulate (trust me, it’s hilarious).
• If you want to have a laugh… play Charades or Pictionary. AVOID Cards Against Humanity and AVOID stupid stocking filler games.
• If you’re feeling nostalgic… Guess Who or Cluedo of course!
• If you want to manipulate and gaslight the people you cherish… bring out Risk or Catan. Be prepared to burn your bridges, you have been warned.

TIP 3 – keep your cool, but win. Remember that you must win

A risk assessment is sometimes required before your get-together actually takes place. If (bless your heart) you still want to invite your overly-competitive friends, be prepared for it to get ugly. Ideally put the two most competitive people on the same team and use their emotions against them, else they’ll spend most of the evening trying to tear each other apart. Avoid games involving opportunities for betrayal and deceit, or you may see an unprecedented dark side to your pals that you can never truly unsee. If you think everyone can handle it, embark on your journey into the unknown. Remember to steel yourself and go for the jugular; no mercy, and no alliances.

Happy playing!