Pre-ing is a huge part of university life. I go to pres even when I’m not going out, sometimes we pre the pres, it’s everywhere. It’s so significant that it’s even been made into a verb. But I strongly believe that pre-ing is a finely tuned art. How many times have you or your friends ended up drinking too much at pres and having to miss a night out? How many times have you ended up not drinking enough and then sobered up to jarring levels by the time you leave? Here are the best ways to get the most out of your pres and finesse the art of pre-ing.

Universally approved spots for pres include college bars or Spoons, both of which are good shouts, but I would like to propose a high-tech, multi-step pre-ing method. It starts in someone’s room or kitchen, with a bottle of anything you like. Think beer, wine, vodka, you name it. Although, make sure not to mix these (Beer before wine is fine, wine before beer, oh dear). To prove the accuracy of my multi-step pre-ing method, I will unlock my inner stem student and analyse the method.

“I go to pres even when I’m not going out, sometimes we pre the pres, it’s everywhere”

Step 1: drinking at home. Tactical strength: cheaper to buy drinks from the shops compared to any of the above locations. Potential weakness: drinking too much and crashing out at the first stage of the multi-step pre-ing method. Finding this balance is key, because at this stage you should feel merry/tipsy, not lying down, passed out on the floor. A fine line, and yet one so often crossed. Another beauty of the multi-step pre-ing method is that you can drop out at any step, for example, if you fancied an early night but still wanted to see everyone.

But if you’re hardcore, here’s step 2: progressing to a college bar. Tactical strength: heavily subsidised drinks. Also, already being tipsy means you could get away with just paying for one drink (depending how much of a heavyweight you are). Also, it gives you the chance to bump into more college friends at the bar and maybe expand your pre-ing group. Potential weaknesses: Depending on where your accommodation is, this could be a journey too long and treacherous to attempt while tipsy, or could result in, god forbid, sobering up. The solution? Skip out the step, or factor in extra drinking in step 1. By this point you have entered the category of drunk, proper head-spinning, slurred speech stuff. But still miles away from blackout. Supposedly.

“Finding this balance is key, because at this stage you should feel merry/tipsy, not lying down, passed out on the floor”

The next step is contested. Many like to head to spoons as well, which is appealing with its cheap drinks and the fact that you’re bound to see at least 400 people you know, but I have mixed opinions and often skip this step. I view it as optional and situation dependent. For example, if you’re slightly early to the club, there’s no queue and it’s completely empty, don’t walk to spoons, RUN. If, however, you’re going out of your way just to tick it off the list, when everyone is already drunk enough and just wants to dance, do just that! Another potential weakness of the Spoons step is tipping you over the edge, having that final drink you didn’t need.

The final step is getting a drink when you arrive at your destination. Whether that’s meeting friends out, an event or a club, it doesn’t matter. These places often serve drinks, and means you can get one last drink to carry you through that perfect level of drunkenness for a little longer, or save money by only having to get one drink.

“There is a spectrum of tolerance, and it can be a futile trial and error to find where you lie on it”

We’ve unpacked good ways to pre. Now let’s discuss what to avoid when pre-ing. Number one is drinking games. These are only safe if played momentarily, blink and it’s over. Anything that lasts longer than 10 minutes is dangerous. Ring of Fire is particularly destructive, having left 7 of my friends passed out on top of each other in one go. Number two is exclusivity. Pres can vary in size, and although sometimes a nice night out with just close friends is lovely, I strongly recommend ‘the more the merrier’ type of attitude for pres, as it’s a great way to socialise with people in a laid-back environment (and alcohol always helps people to chat and come out of their shells). With so many people together, it’s inevitable that something eventful or funny will happen, which you can all laugh about together later.

At this point we’ve answered some basic questions, like who, what, where and why. ‘When’ has not been answered, and is important because leaving it too late might mean not hitting the perfect level of drunk before last entry to the club or being too early may result in a catastrophic overconsumption of alcohol. Another important detail to mention is how to manage personal limits, and drinking what’s enough for you, not the people you’re drinking with. There is a spectrum of tolerance, and it can be a futile trial and error to find where you lie on it. Needless to say, if you’re a 5’4 woman like me, drinking with your 6 foot male friends, you’ll need to stop drinking far earlier and not even try to keep up with them. Trust me.

The tragic conclusion of this article is that I myself have failed to master the art of pre-ing. Countless times I have either been miserably sober at the club or woken up with an empty bank account and no memory. I am merely trying to suggest a plan which can be modified person to person, and which I have found to be the most enjoyable experience. Happy pre-ing and here’s to perfecting the pres. Cheers to that!