Before it was the title of Sam Fender’s third album, people watching was just my favourite procrastination hobby. A way of watching the world go by, noticing the small details, making up stories about them, all under the guise of an anthropological study. While I am mourning the loss of my favourite people watching spot, the Seeley Library, let me provide you with a guide to getting the most out of your procrastination.

The location:

The location is arguably the most important part of people watching. It determines the usual suspects you’ll come across. For some, people watching is about observing those already familiar to them, surveying what they do and who they were with, perhaps for a dramatic debrief over a 6 o’clock dinner at the return to college; for others, people watching is about creating narratives about strangers in the street, whose mundane activities become the subject of observation. If you’re a newcomer to people watching, here are a few suggestions for the best spots.

Any library on Sidge:

The Seeley was (rip) my favourite Sidge library to work in, because it let me witness everyone coming into the library to work, but also had huge windows facing onto the rest of Sidge where I could watch the world go by (and I suppose it had the physical copy of the books I needed). Your subject library gives you a decent academic understanding, but more importantly, lets you see your entire subject cohort in one place (Wednesday Revs also has the effect with first-year historians). The best libraries on Sidge to people-watch, if you dare venture out of your own, are ones with windows! For this reason, I’d recommend the Marshall, MML, or the Squire, but I’m personally too scared to look distracted, let alone people watch, in the latter.

“Your subject library gives you a decent academic understanding, but more importantly, lets you see your entire subject cohort in one place”

Arc Cafe (not the buttery and NOT a library):

This is definitely a more student-centric people-watching spot, given how Sidge is a hub of humanities students, treating their lecture like the first event in the Cambridge Fashion Week. I’d recommend sitting here, by a window, at quarter to the hour, so you can really observe everyone walking to and from their lectures. It’s even better than the library, because you can discuss your observations with a friend on who’s walking with who, and share common knowledge and theories. Enjoy this with a classic cookie and maybe you’ll even see some of the Sidge dogs, or perhaps even Odysseus (and wonder about their lives too)!

The pub:

The pub, any one within central Cambridge will do, is a solid combination of student and locals. To maximise your people-watching time, I’d sit in the garden under the warmth of an electric heater so you can really see everyone coming and going. For this, I’d recommend the Pick (but if it’s too busy from now on, I take it back). The busier it is, the more chance you have of seeing new and old faces to speculate about, and can let your theories grow as you get to know the regulars.

Upstairs of Costa by Market Square:

This is another great balance between watching both town and gown. Observing the interactions and transactions of market stall owners, students, office workers on a lunch break, and the occasional academic in the wild (probably going into Gail’s for a tiny coffee). This is a personal favourite spot of mine, and one I will regret not gatekeeping if it means I am unable to get a table again.

Now it’s time for the most crucial part of the art of people watching: the questions:

“Where are they going?” “Where did they come from?” - no, these are not the deep, genius lyrics of Cotton Eye Joe, but rather some questions to get you thinking about the people you are observing so scientifically? These will work for both strangers and non-strangers.

“Does their face look like they’ve seen their lecture-crush and bombed their interaction together”

Who are they with? Are they with someone you recognise? If they’re alone, are they going to visit someone, in which case who? Have they just visited someone? Does their face look like they’ve seen their lecture-crush and bombed their interaction together?

Really get into the where’s - where are they going? Where have they been? Why is this their route to their destination?

Their motives: what are they doing? What have they done? Why are they outside at 2pm on a Tuesday? What was their lecture on?

These very hard-hitting, basically Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist-style, questions will provide a strong path for your imagination to wander as you embark on your people-watching journey. Warning: I will not take responsibility for any deadlines missed as a result of your new hobby/procrastination activity!