How to survive a visit from a home friend
Oliver Cooney offers his top survival tips to salvage your degree (and your friendship) in the season of visits from home
Michaelmas is the prime time for visits: Cambridge is an autumn postcard; your soon-to-be distant home friends are still in your DMS; and if you slack off by having guests, you’ve got the rest of the year to turn your grades around. But inviting your secondary school BFF for a sleepover is not always as fun as it sounds. In reality, having someone invade your personal space while you’re still figuring out how to turn the radiator on can be quite stressful. To avoid that stress, I’ve compiled some top tips from my personal experience – unless you happen to be a home friend of mine, in which case this is entirely abstract and you were a delight to have.
Pre-work
Despite your best efforts, you’re not getting anything done while your friend is here. A mix of BFF-induced giddiness and ‘are you really having fun’ guilt means dragging them to a library is not an option. Because of that, you need to stockpile work in the days beforehand. Lock yourself in the library or chain yourself to the desk; no matter how, you’ve got to finish that essay a week early.
“You’ll also need to stockpile sleep”
In a similar, yet more achievable vein, you’ll also need to stockpile sleep. Having a friend round means attending every event and social occasion you can get your hands on. Trains are expensive, so you need to make the visit worth it. To make sure you can last, go to bed early and get up late. With your waking hours spent preparing supo work in advance, this might mean you become somewhat of a hermit for a little while, but trust me, it’s worth it.
The itinerary
For a small town, Cambridge has a lot to offer, so you need to be selective about what you show your friends. If you’re going clubbing, make sure you know enough people are going that week – we’ve all had the pleasure of a four-person crowd in MASH, but your friend doesn’t need that. If you’re feeling artsy, consider whether your friend is more of a Fitzwilliam or a Kettle’s Yard kind of person – there’s a big difference. And of course, there are college tours. It’s best to pester your friends at other colleges in advance to make sure they can offer a glamorous guided tour without a porter cutting it short.
“Take time for yourself”
If it’s a weekday, then you’ve also got to consider academics: which lectures are you going to skip? While you could ponder which absences will have the least impact, don’t forget to consider the lectures you will drag your friend to. In an attempt to impress an ex-boyfriend with the difficulty of my degree, I forced him to sit through 50 minutes of “sometimes, languages are different”. Safe to say it did not have the desired effect. So bear in mind the impression your friend will be getting of your course.
Downtime
Undoubtedly the best advice I can offer is to take time for yourself. With no other contacts in Cambridge, your friend will be with you wherever you go. If you want to avoid overdosing on the friendship, find a reason to take a little break. In my experience, hangovers are the perfect excuse to have ‘silent phone time,’ and if you’re comfortable sitting with your friend and not saying a word, make the most of it. If not, a long shower will become a regular feature in your schedule to give you that much-needed me-time.
The name game
During the visit, you’ll be the one introducing your home friend to your new friends – and your new mere acquaintances. That means you need to know names. There’s nothing worse than having to cut yourself off when you realise you can’t introduce them to the girl you met once in the bar. The good news? If you play it right, having a home friend around is the perfect way to refresh your name knowledge. One deeply embarrassing Michaelmas, I came to learn my new Cambridge bestie, Grace, was actually called Emily, all thanks to a well-timed introduction. Say your home friend’s name, gesture to your Cambridge pal, and let them do the rest. Just don’t do it too often, or it’ll become obvious calling everybody ‘bestie’ wasn’t a quirk, it was a cover-up.
The big day off
Contrary to popular belief, hosting a guest is not a break. If anything, it can be more exhausting than pre-reading. Be kind to yourself, and once you’ve waved them off at the train platform, take time to recharge your social battery. My personal post-visit cool-down involves sitting in a dark room and speaking to nobody. But there’s no shame in a post-visit debrief either; it might help to vent about how glad you are to have your own space back, even if it was lovely to see your friend.
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