It is a shared experience among marginalised genders to grow up experiencing ‘casual’ gendered prejudice. Words like ‘bossy’, ‘cow’, ‘feminazi’, ‘slut’, and ‘bitch’ are thrown around from a strikingly young age. Particularly, the word bitch has emerged as a normalised term despite being bathed in misogyny. With the rise of mainstream ‘Girlboss’ or ‘CEO’ feminism in the later 20th century, there have been attempts to reclaim the word as empowering. With the promotion of women up the job ladder viewed as the pinnacle of this brand of feminism, there is little critical analysis as to how this has simply widened who has access to the position as an oppressor. The reclamation of this toxic image of empowerment, the ‘bitch’, has fed into the popularisation of the girlboss narrative. It is worth examining.

Of course, it is important to recognise the historical implications of the word bitch as gendered and racialised particularly in the workplace, where competitiveness, drive and strong-mindedness have typically led to rewards for men whilst marginalised genders were demonised for similar behaviours. There is a clear double standard that still exists today and reveals how effective capitalism and patriarchy are in supporting one another. But it’s time we push past merely highlighting this hypocrisy as feminists and revaluating what liberation requires. By attempting, as feminists, to adopt these ideals of power, selfishness, and competitiveness, we only reinforce this dichotomy of femininity as passivity and masculinity as action. We must stop examining gender in overly simplistic ways which not only hold men to reductive and low standards but simultaneously reinforce the gender binary.

“Competitiveness, drive and strong-mindedness have typically led to rewards for men whilst marginalised genders were demonised for similar behaviours”

The figure of the ‘bitch’ upholds an unhealthy capitalist ideal that promotes the selfish individual above community-driven values. Neoliberalism has successfully co-opted our self-perception so that it is ingrained into our culture and self-value system that our worth is tied to our ‘success’- particularly in financial accumulation but also in power or academic prestige. Prioritising our own success at all times becomes a poisoned chalice. Sensitivity, kindness, and compassion are not signs of weakness, but are in fact, strengths and should be celebrated and not refused as so many self-proclaimed feminists continue to.

The reclaiming of the bitch character has, therefore, often reinforced this binary which creates space for explaining away poor behaviour as just ‘something men do’. But also, it alienates men who do not live up to these unhealthy standards or do not care to. Compassion is a value that is held across the gender spectrum and can be something that is nurtured within us. This doesn’t negate our ability to lead, it enhances it as we can be motivated and passionate leaders without needing to idealise selfishness in the process.

The ‘bitch’ as a figure simultaneously continues to be used to describe women that we dislike often with little reasoning, but particularly when they are perceived as rude or catty. Furthermore, ‘bitch’ appears to be a popular insult when marginalised genders of all sexualities (but particularly queer people) reject the sexual advances of men, whether that be a simple ignoring of a compliment or rejection of physical intimacy.

“We can be motivated and passionate leaders without needing to idealise selfishness ”

This is reflective of the culture that expects submission and passivity from women that is prevalent in the sexual realm. However, liberation from this culture doesn’t necessitate that women learn to politely decline advances, or that they should learn to be ‘strong’, or accept the label of ‘bitch’ in rejecting men. Instead, the onus is on those making advances to accept rejection without needing to resort to demonising those rejecting them with misogynistic tropes to cope with their emotional response. Rejection is uncomfortable, and that’s okay to acknowledge that it can be painful to feel. But this isn’t an excuse for misdirected anger, and learning as a society to detach our value from external means of validation will significantly improve our ability to have honest, respectful and consensual sex, or to not have sex at all.

Whilst the connections drawn in this article between selfish individualism and the figure of the bitch may appear a little stretched to some, it’s worth evaluating the language that we use every day. This is why I personally will not use this word even when intended as a compliment! I don’t think this is a particularly radical act, yet it seems to be one that surprises people. You are free to make your own judgement about what makes you feel empowered as a member of a marginalised gender, and if that means reclaiming the word bitch, all the power to you. But the point remains that perhaps in reclaiming the bitch as a figure, we are really empowering ourselves within the constraints that liberal discourse has set for us with a specific set of capitalist and ‘masculine’ values as the norm.

Perhaps it’s optimistic to suggest that there is already wide recognition of the use of the word bitch as an insult as one that is wrapped in misogyny and homophobia. Its continued use is likely a combination of lack of awareness and apathy for what, admittedly, can be perceived as trivial in contrast to improving the material conditions of marginalised genders. This being said, cultural change has to go hand in hand with economic and political goals. Therefore, the prominence of the figure of the bitch, particularly in online feminist spaces, means that it is necessary to think about the issue of reclamation. If the bitch remains a symbol of the neo-liberal she-o woman, then I have zero interest in pursuing this.