Why is it that one minute you can be obsessed with someone, and the next, the mere act of watching them run after a ping-pong ball or clapping after a plane lands makes your stomach turn? This phenomenon, dubbed by social media as the ‘ick’, has become increasingly used in modern dating vocabulary. But what’s actually happening in our brains when we get the ‘ick’? And why are some people more prone to it than others?

While the ‘ick’ is a subjective experience that differs in form from person to person, the key characteristics are that it comes on suddenly, and is (allegedly) impossible to get rid of once it has set in. A recent study has suggested that this visceral reaction might have links to distinct evolutionary roots, and that the ‘ick’ is a modern manifestation of the ‘disgust mechanism’. This reaction likely developed initially as a pathogen-avoidance mechanism, but later became involved in mate selection to help individuals identify undesirable characteristics in a potential mate. Historically, these characteristics might have included bad hygiene, physical weakness, or poor parental instincts, but nowadays this form of survival instinct is used to react to your love interest’s quirks, much like you would to a mouldy vegetable in the fridge. So, as illustrated by the study, the more sensitive your ‘disgust mechanism’, the more likely you are to respond to ‘ick’ cues.

But what other factors make you more likely to experience the ‘ick’? The first is gender: women are both more familiar with the concept of an ‘ick’ and also experience it more frequently than men. This aligns with the well-observed notion that women are typically more sensitive to incompatibilities with a mate, which might be due to the different societal pressures and expectations they face around caregiving and raising a family. Or, maybe, women have simply witnessed one too many men running with backpacks on – an affliction that no amount of evolution could prepare them for.

“A recent study has suggested that the ‘ick’ results from distinct evolutionary roots — it’s a modern manifestation of the ‘disgust mechanism’.”

The study also outlines narcissism as being a major risk factor. This is not to say that everyone who has experienced the ‘ick’ is a narcissist; rather the presence of some minor narcissistic traits might increase the likelihood of experiencing the ‘ick’. These narcissistic traits are often associated with rigid expectations as to how romantic partners should behave. Therefore, even a small departure from these high standards (such as awkward habits or social blunders) can have the effect of being a bigger turn-off than they should be.

It is also worth considering whether the rumours that the ‘ick’ is an unrecoverable experience are true. Social media informs us that the ‘ick’ is a death blow to a relationship, and once you have experienced it you can’t regain affection for the unlucky partner. However, there is some evidence to suggest that, if the root cause of the ick can be identified, it can be overcome. For example, a study illustrated that addressing why somebody might have a fear of attachment or intimacy can help them to overcome their fixation on minor flaws. Alternatively, you could lean into ‘disgust tolerance’, a psychological strategy that involves pairing the ‘icky’ stimulus with something pleasant. Hate the sounding of chewing? Try pairing some particularly loud chewing noises with the aromas of your favourite meal.

Ultimately, social media is definitely onto something with the ‘ick’ — whilst it might seem like a contemporary affliction, it likely has deep evolutionary roots, as well as the ability to expose underlying emotional disorders and insecurities. In the absence of real survival threats, this historic mechanism has warped into a modern defence against romantic inadequacy and, regrettably, snapchat premium users.