I’m always a bit offended when someone questions my music knowledge. Back home, I see more gigs in a week than most people manage in a year. My taste is certainly selective, but I’m always open to trying something new and I’ll never allow one bad performance condemn a band for me. Yet, still there are always a few faces in any audience who will dare to question my right to be there.

Music is all about community. No one should feel like they can’t go to a gig because of who they are, where they come from or what they look like. However, I do have a few handy tips for working out who perhaps doesn’t know as much about music as they would like you to think.

“Oh, you like [name]. What are your top [x] songs?”

This is a question that everyone who likes music has probably been asked at least once. However, Joy Division fans seem particularly fond of challenging me to this. Perhaps it has something to do with the commercialisation of their iconic reproduction of the B1919+21 star frequencies on the front cover of their debut album, Unknown Pleasures. It can be frustrating to see your community transformed into a commercialised version of cool.

“Firstly, asking people to rank their favourite songs goes against what it means to love a band”

However, my distaste for this question is twofold. Firstly, asking people to rank their favourite songs goes against what it means to love a band. You love a band or an artist because you think that all of their work is valid, and that all of their work speaks to you. Otherwise, you would like individual songs. Secondly, you can almost always guarantee that they will ask you to name as many songs as they know. Hence, why Joy Division fans usually ask you for about three – ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’, ‘Atmosphere’ and ‘Disorder’ or ‘Transmission’. Next time someone asks you that, maybe you could take a leaf out of my book: my top three favourite Joy Division songs are ‘Centuries’, ‘Lockdown’, and ‘Horror Museum’. Most people just think they’re obscure B-sides.

“I think [their biggest flop] is their best single/album.”

Yeah, yeah, mate. So you’ve done a bit of research and now you think that you can make yourself appear like one of the “edgy, authentic” fans just because you think that the album that they brought out when they were completely drained of all inspiration and had strayed slightly off the rails in terms of illicit substances. Even Brett Anderson admits that there is very little salvageable in Suede’s 2002 album A New Morning. It doesn’t make you cool to say this. If anything, it makes me question your taste as much as your knowledge.

“I’ll give it a stream!”

We all know that they won’t, but that is slightly besides the point. I’m not asking for you to be some Discogs-pro. I’m not even asking that you have all your vinyl LPs perfectly alphabetised. Streaming has, in many ways, democratised the consumption of music, but it has also made music into a consumable product. With artists being paid less than ever for each stream, it is so important that we go out and support them in any way that we can. Too many new and emerging bands, like the much-mourned Chase, are being forced out of the industry because they simply don’t have the money to continue in an industry that suppresses small bands in favour of the big names who can bring in more money through passive streaming.

“With artists being paid less than ever for each stream, it is so important that we go out and support them in any way that we can”

4. “I saw Oasis this summer”

This one also works for Coldplay, Taylor Swift, or whoever else is on their must-see tour. I know many frequent gig-goers and indie aficionados who completely shunned the Oasis gig this summer. We know that there is absolutely nothing that could compel us to pay anywhere near the reported prices. If Paul Heaton can set a blanket limit on his gigs at £35 a ticket (as well as putting £1000 behind the bar), Oasis can afford to similarly cap ticket prices. Every time I have seen an Oasis T-shirt this year, I have first been skeptical of whether they went, and then thought, “You’ve been conned, mate, if you did go.”

“I don’t do support acts.”

Easily the most heinous offence on this list, it should immediately signal that this person does not like music, just the glory of being a “music fan”. I could write a whole article just listing the bands that you are missing at the moment by not going to see the support act – The Lilacs, Andrew Cushin, Nadine Shah – but let’s look backwards. Once upon a time, Radiohead supported James, James supported The Smiths, and The Smiths supported Blue Rondo á la Turk. Support acts are just the next sensation you haven’t met yet. The truest music fans you will ever meet are the ones who have come exclusively for the support act, regardless of the headliner.