It’s that time of year again: whether you’re jumping for joy or quaking in your boots, Spotify Wrapped season is upon us. We asked our Instagram followers to name and shame, spill the beans, and confront their inner musical demons for this article. So … let the annual public humiliation ritual begin! As this article’s instigators, Lucy and I thought that we should air our grievances first.

Lucy Jude, Lucy Cav: “Spotify Wrapped is always a joy … a joy usually tinged with shame. Minutes wise I reckon it’ll sit at 50k-ish? But if it’s not Bob Dylan as my top artist for the 400th year running, I’ve been replaced with a tasteless clone. I am sincerely praying that Morrissey doesn’t make an appearance. I’m truly sorry. It’s been a harrowing year.” Daisy C, Peterhouse: “I say BRING IT ON! My Spotify minutes are always disappointingly less than I think … in my defense I’m one of those awful record listeners so I’ll aim for an adequate 35,000 minutes. Hopefully, I’ll have Cate le Bon or Andrew Bird at the top of the tree.”

“If it’s not Bob Dylan as my top artist for the 400th year running, I’ve been replaced with a tasteless clone”

Jamie, Caius: “I’ve moved on to not caring about what people think of my music. The top artist game is difficult because I don’t think it’ll be Radiohead which is a crazy turn of events for me given they’ve been my top artist for five years – I think it’ll probably be Charli xcx because of Brat. And no. I have zero fears, because all my music is unbelievably cool and awesome and unembarassing.”

Daniel, Lucy Cav: “I went on some random listening habits this last year including Chappell Roan and some niche Russian rock bands so the playlist will be interesting. I have no idea on specific numbers but I feel like I’ve listened less this year. I think my top artist will be Kid Cudi, but I haven’t been attached to any one artist in the same way that I have in previous years. Guilty pleasure is Imagine Dragons. ’Nuff said.”

Gemma, Peterhouse: “One: I have no shame. Two: I have no concept of time. My top artist will be Sea Power … Or Elliott Smith (which I’m a little bit embarrassed about, it was a tough start to the year). I’m worried that Benson Boone will backflip onto wrapped. We all like some “moonbeam ice cream” every so often. Every day, actually. I think people might view me differently if they knew I listen to Getdown Services as much as I do… but I’m unashamed and seeing them AGAIN!”

“Ethel Cain had a chokehold over my summer; she may have overthrown Lana – the right person will stay”

Rob, Jesus: “I really enjoy Spotify Wrapped. My listening time is probably on par with last year’s 45,000, though I began outsourcing to other platforms like SoundCloud for unreleased (Frank Ocean) music. Ethel Cain had a chokehold over my summer; she may have overthrown Lana – the right person will stay.”Meg, Newnham: “I’m both excited for the world to see how wonderful (read: performative) my music taste is, and apprehensive about what it might reveal. I’m not really quiet about my love for Britpop, but I probably should be.”

Daisy B, Robinson: “I promise I’m not a performative listener but I am a little nervous that my wrapped will be skewed by frantic qualities of chill study jazz and Field Medic’s ‘Song I Made Up To Stop Myself From Having A Panic Attack Just Now’. Laura Marling will be my top artist, you can euthanize me if I’m wrong. I have too many guilty pleasures to count to be honest – I had a brief Meghan Trainor/Ellie Goulding relapse in the Summer, but my big fear remains Glee Cast. You didn’t ask but Salt-N-Pepa’s ‘Shoop’ will be my no. 1. If it isn’t, I’ve done 2025 wrong.”

Isadora, Peterhouse: “I have nothing to hide. My listening time was definitely 67 minutes. Benson Boone will probably be my top artist – I LOVE the song ‘Mystical Magical’. And no, no guilty pleasures whatsoever. My music taste is GOATed #followmeonSpotify.”

“I’m more worried about what kind of AI slop genres Spotify will throw our way this year”

Astrid, Peterhouse: “I’m a bit nervous for Wrapped. I always turn out to be a more one sided listener then I would like to present myself as. In the end, I’m more worried about what kind of AI slop genres Spotify will throw our way this year. I’m aiming for a modest 40,000. I like listening with intention. My top artist is tied between Ethel Cain, Jane Remover and venturing … but I have a feeling ‘Skyrim Atmospheres’ (42-minute ambient track from the Skyrim soundtrack) might make it into the top five for the second time. In my defence, its great background noise. Other than that, I’ve been listening to a lot of early 2020s hyperpop. But to be cringe is to be free, so I intend to bear whatever is revealed with pride.”

Well, there are certainly some intriguing answers among our friends … and we’re sure that your picks are just as jarring. Ring in advent with us and watch this space to see if their Christmas wishes come true … in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Amen.