It’s funny when the realisation hits that the people you awkwardly shuffle past in Mainsbury’s could end up being the prime minister, or a BAFTA-winning actor, or a renowned philanthropist... the list goes on. Even crazier plot twist: that person could be you. So, bare with me as I flick through the yearbooks and hypothesise about which ex-cantab you are!

What degree do you do?

A) You’re an English student. To be or not to be annoying about it – that is the question

B) You’ll come, you’ll see, and you’ll conquer your way through life – you’re a classicist

C) Modern and Medieval Languages – you’re never going to use them, though

D) You’re a STEM victim – and you never stop talking about it

E) Yet another English student, not that your degree’s your top priority

What do you get up to in your free time?

A) Not only are you an avid Footlights performer, you’re running the place

B) You’re never off the stage. There’s not a production of Hamlet for miles that hasn’t seen your face

C) You’re taking that degree one step further and inventing your own language

D) I don’t want to know, to be honest

E) You’ve tried it all: rowing, Ancient Literature Society – the works – but your true love is attention

What is your relationship like with your supervisors?

A) Great! Literally everyone and their mother loves you 

B) Yeah, good. You may have been up incredibly late celebrating the opening night of your most recent theatrical endeavour, but you’re incredibly charming, so they’re willing to overlook the glaring eye bags

C) It’s hit or miss

D) It’s not a perfect pairing; they’ll stay out of your way if they know what’s good for them

E) Well, you’re not exactly one for doing your readings, but you bring the good vibes!

What kind of job do you see yourself going into?

A) You’re bound for the screen; you’re sure of it

B) If you don’t act, you’ll die – so, acting it is!

C) As long as it’s not related to your degree in any way, you’re happy!

D) Unsure, as long as it’s morally questionable

E) Whatever gets you on Graham Norton’s couch the most

What degree classification will you get?

A) Never mind what you get in your real degree, you’re going to have unis just handing you honorary doctorates

B) A double first, wow

C) A 2:1 – solid

D) You drop out, actually (spoiler alert)

E) I actually have no idea, it’s the least interesting thing about you

If you got mostly As…

You’re Emma Thompson. And, despite presumably spending many years studying hard, all anyone can talk about is your heartbreaking performance as the hard-done-by wife of Alan Rickman in Love Actually. You did hold that film on your back, though – credit where credit is due. But seriously, your talents far extend your ability to write Chaucer essays, so gear up – the best is yet to come!

If you got mostly Bs…

You’re Tom Hiddleston and, thanks to your time as Marvel’s Loki, you’re known way beyond the likes of Cambridge. You went to Eton, you’re world famous, you dated Taylor Swift… life has been, and will continue to be, good. Enjoy it!

If you got mostly Cs…

You’re Alastair Campbell. I don’t think I need to explain that you’re a divisive character – but you balance the legacy of the-war-that-shall-not-be-named with podcast stardom. Whatever happens in your life, rest assured there is always a new, exciting venture around the corner.

If you got mostly Ds…

You’re Robert Oppenheimer… someone had to be. Look, you’re a smart cookie – no arguing that – but your supervisor certainly didn’t appreciate your attempt to poison him. And, as for your future accomplishments, I’d rather stay out of it. Academic validation goes a long way with you, that’s all I’ll say. You will have a bangin’ movie made about you though.

If you got mostly Es…

You’re Miriam Margolyes – you’re the personality hire. I’ll be honest, pretty much all I know about you is your semi-regular, always viral, appearances on The Graham Norton Show – but that is not a bad legacy to have!