Poor Sex Ed isn't funnyYouTube: theninjasandwich

The idea that the provision of sex education is generally inadequate is hardly a new take on the matter, but as with so many social issues, it constantly becomes dwarfed by a recurrent wave of topical matters that seem far more pressing. As a result, the scope of discussion is largely limited to the online circle-jerk of modern liberals and its full complexity is rarely addressed in the mainstream sphere. The schools that even bother with sex education seem content to reel off some basic information about contraception and STIs, before letting their charges go running off into the adult world, secure in their newfound knowledge of how to put a condom on a banana. The truth is, the need for better sex education is far more urgent than it appears. 

My experiences with sex education have been amusing and incongruent at best, damaging at worst. I remember being sat down early on in primary school and shown a video (God forbid the teachers actually talk about sex themselves) that involved a montage of some cartoon characters getting it on in various positions with love hearts flashing around them. This was followed by a real life recording of a woman giving birth, which was swiftly fast-forwarded, being deemed too ‘graphic’ for children. Despite being years away from any interest in sex or babies, we had been given a whistle stop tour of the key ideas - sex was fun and to do with love, but also babies, and vaginas were scary and not to be looked at unless in animated form. I can’t imagine who signed off on that one. Again in Year Six, we were all funnelled into a big classroom to experience one of these enlightening videos. This one was question and answer style, with the presenter wrinkling his nose as a prepubescent boy asked what ‘wanking’ was, to which the presenter gave a totally androcentric response and asserted that we should instead refer to the act as ‘masturbation’ – a far more pleasant term. This approach was hardly improved upon in high school, where we were subjected to graphic photos of genital warts and other infections, with students squirming and teachers stressing that if we only bothered to put a condom on, such horrors could be avoided. Not a far cry from the Mean Girls ‘Don’t Have Sex, Because You Will Get Pregnant And Die’ position. This kind of thing only serves to perpetuate a culture of fear and shame around sex, stigmatising STIs without offering much practical advice on how to deal with them, only vague prevention methods. 

Good Sex Ed is about more than just handing out condomskerryank

The effects of poor sex education only grow more sinister in relation to queer identities. Schools focus almost exclusively on a heteronormative, cissexist view of intercourse being between a penis and a vagina. This not only compounds the society wide process of socialising children into compulsory heterosexuality, but can be genuinely dangerous for LGBTQ youth, who are left to grope in the dark for information about how to practice safe sex. Another topic that is shrouded in a troubling silence is consent, which didn’t even get one mention in my few sex education classes. Viewing sex in a vacuum without reference to its emotional implications or the contexts that surround it is to simplify an extremely complex matter into something merely physical. If this were avoided, it might come as less of a shock that the reality of sexual relationships can be confusing and complicated, requiring communication and care. Consent workshops at university are beneficial but come far too late, only after too many teenagers have experienced coercion and assault. 

This inadequacy of resources from schools raises the question of where young people get their information about sex, if not in the classroom. Attempts have been made to combat the lack of education through platforms like Youtube and microblogging websites, which can be great for providing more information and creating an ongoing dialogue around sexuality. However, these sources risk being too inflexible or reductionist, attempting to achieve the impossible feat of laying down rigid rules about healthy relationships without any context. Some young people might turn to pornography to learn about sex and develop their own sexualities. This creates unrealistic expectations around sex and largely divorces the physical act from the emotions. Learning about sexuality is obviously a long process that comes with experience. In the initial stages of adolescence, teenagers might benefit from a bit more guidance than pornhub and the odd tumblr post. Arbitrary sex education classes or a one off ‘talk’ from parents is not good enough - it leaves young people without the necessary tools to cultivate healthy sexual practices or sometimes even to talk about sex. We need to shed the outdated taboo and do better