A beloved sculpture recently disappeared from Sidgwick Site has been spotted in Oxford University’s new humanities building.

Created by renowned sculptor Sir Anthony Gormley in 2014, Daze IV is a cast iron representation of the human form. The artwork was originally located on Lundy Island in the Bristol Channel, before it was moved to Sidgwick in 2016.

For several months, the sculpture’s whereabouts have been unknown, but multiple sightings have now been reported at the Schwarzman Centre for the Humanities in Oxford.

A member of the Cambridge Night Climbers, who wished to keep her identity anonymous, told Varsity: “I was scaling the Raised Faculty Building when I saw a trio wearing sub-fusc and muttering in Latin load [the sculpture] into a wagon, which they then attached to a Voi before speeding off down West Road.”

Her fellow night climber added: “The whole operation took less than five minutes. They had clearly been training for months.”

A spokesperson for Oxford University responded: “These allegations are categorically untrue. Any resemblances between the statue formerly found on Sidgwick Site and our newly purchased Gaze III by Antonin Gormless, are purely coincidental. We would never accept artwork by a Cambridge alumnus on our new site.”

Gormley studied archaeology, anthropology, and the history of art at Trinity College, graduating in 1971. Best known for the Angel of the North in Gateshead, the sculptor is also an honorary fellow at Trinity and Jesus.

Reacting to the news, one Cambridge student commented: “Oxford can spend all the money they like on a fancy new building, but they will never reach Sidgwick’s sheer level of cubiness. So they had to go steal some of it for themselves.”

Located in Oxford’s Radcliffe Observatory Quarter, the Schwarzman Centre was opened in October following the largest single donation to the University in modern history.

Another student commented: “I never really cared for that statue anyway. Besides, we’ve still got the big one at King’s.” Varsity understands that Gormley’s tribute to Alan Turing, brought to King’s in 2024, would be too large to transport by Voi.

The other Gormley statues in Cambridge – Earthbound: Plant (2002) and Learning to See VI (1995) – are now being surveyed 24/7. A security guard told Varsity they had received special training on how to identify Oxonians by listening for foreign words like “tutorial” and “battels”.

Cambridge’s chancellor, Lord Chris Smith, did not seem particularly perturbed by the news, telling Varsity: “We’ll see how smug they feel after the Boat Races.”

The masters of Trinity and Jesus declined to comment. However, the pair were last spotted scribbling notes around a photograph of Gormley’s ‘Iron Man’, located on Oxford’s Broad Street.

At press time, the exact whereabouts of the Gormley sculptures at Oxford’s Trinity and Mansfield colleges were unknown.

Gormley’s sculptures have been controversial with students and staff at the University. One student commented: “I won’t miss that unsightly pile of cubes”. In 2022, the installation of “phallic” Gormley sculpture Alert saw condemnation from students at Imperial College London.

In case you haven’t guessed already, this story is an April Fools Day joke. However, it is true that Daze IV will sadly be leaving us, as the sculpture was only on loan for ten years.