Mainsbury’s is decked out in obnoxiously bright stalls of chocolates and cards, which can only mean one thing: the lead-up to Valentine’s is among us. This year, though, I’ve found myself thinking about how a holiday dedicated to romantic love could actually draw attention to the need to give the same kind of appreciation to the other forms of love in our lives – especially friendships.

A few months ago, I saw a TikTok of a woman explaining her decision to move out of her shared apartment with her boyfriend. This wasn’t a story of heartbreak or grief. She was in her 20s and believed she had limited time left to live with her best friends. Now, I’m not saying that the concept of living with your friends in your 20s is controversial or original. The idea of a group of single friends living under one roof has been widely represented across many media forms (picture any American sitcom ever), but I would say that deciding to move out of your home with your partner is rarer. It is this active choice to give more of your time and attention to your friendships over your relationship which I find the most interesting.

“If anyone needs a reminder to pay more attention to one’s friends, it’s those who pay Galentine’s less notice”

The widespread cultural phenomenon that is ‘Galentine’s Day’ has made those who celebrate it dedicate a day to friendships. Unbeknownst to me until recently, the concept was actually popularised in 2010 by the TV show Parks and Recreation, where the lead character organises an event on February 13th to celebrate her female friends. Galentine’s has since morphed from a fictional plot point to something at the core of Valentine’s itself, becoming a day focused on the shared camaraderie between a group of single friends. 

Such a celebration carries a message of independence and appreciation for one's friends at a time in the calendar when romantic love takes the main stage. This prioritisation of friendship should be focused on more though, regardless of whether one has a ‘real’ Valentine’s of their own or not. Because if anyone needs a reminder to pay more attention to one's friends, it’s those who pay Galentine’s less notice. 

“It’s very easy, alarmingly easy actually, to fall into an ‘attached at the hips’ relationship”

The label of ‘hypocrite’ is not one I accept lightly. I’d be lying though if I didn’t admit that upon entering my first university relationship, I quickly realised that any accusations I’d previously made towards a friend about spending too much time with her boyfriend would not be misplaced if they were now aimed at me. It’s very easy, alarmingly easy actually, to fall into an ‘attached at the hips’ relationship. The chaotic nature of third year soon made me realise how easy it is to go a concerningly long time without seeing friends.

“Days can pass you by before you realise you’ve not seen your friends”

When your days are full of libraries, lunches and lectures, and your dinners and date nights are dedicated to your partner, days can pass you by before you realise you’ve not seen your friends. Whilst I will always see one or two here and there, it is almost impossible to get the group together. And this is not to say my relationship, or anyone’s, is to blame, but it has definitely made me more aware of the situation. So, I have since made a promise to myself (and I wrote it in my New Year’s diary entry so you know I’m serious); I refuse to let it be this easy for that friendless time to pass unnoticed and unresolved. I promised that I will make an active effort to give time and attention to my favourite people, because if I can’t do it now, when we already have the privilege of sharing years in the same tiny cooped-up college, when can I?

So, whilst Amy Poehler’s character may have used her ‘Galentine’s’ brunch as a cause to abandon partners and celebrate friends for one day a year, I think such an attitude would not be amiss outside of this Valentine’s context. There’s no need to abandon our relationships, but we must celebrate our friendships as well.