What a way to kick off the term’s student politics drama! CUCA backed down in a display of cowardice after their prospective controversial speaker Tom Rowsell sparked student outrage. A good showing from CULC too, who seem to be doing well in retaining their left-wing credibility after the challenge from UCLS last summer. The prospects for student politics entertainment in miserable Lent look strong.

But there’s something more to this than the exciting theatrics, and it seems to be a trend across other universities in the UK. Cancelling a speaker event because you know your speaker is going to ruffle some feathers is not just cowardice – it’s the unveiling of a new political development. I think old-hat Tories have gone. Gone where? Nobody knows. But they’ve gone. Perhaps they’re following the example from above? Despite the multitude of opportunistic Conservatives leaving for Reform, Kemi Badenoch doesn’t exactly look keen to tack back to the old right-of-centre, ‘liberal-conservative’ days of Cameron or May.

And it’s a shame. As much as it feels weird to utter these words … I miss the Tories. The proper Tories I mean. The ones you could actually understand, the ones who cared about small business, hard work, community, independence. I think that approach is a little bit utopian when a handful of billionaires seem to own half the planet, but I digress. The point is that you could understand where they were coming from and what they wanted. A left-winger and a right-winger used to be able to find some common ground.

“But the real misery about this far-right utopia is not its depressive, blind nostalgia, it’s how bland it looks”

The light blue brigade has thrown that out the window. It’s impossible to pinpoint what they really stand for. Brexit promised sovereignty, but we’re now faced with one of the most internationalist movements Britain has ever seen. Globalist elites like Elon Musk and Steve Bannon seem to have pooled their resources to inflame the far right across the European Continent, which I think does more to destroy communities than anything else. Patriotism seems to extend far enough as flying a tacky flag from a lamppost and dismissing any critical study of Churchill as ‘woke’ but not quite far enough to properly condemn Trump for insulting those who died in Afghanistan. And do I even need to mention Russian interference?

Trumpy’s fanboys don’t have any better sense of direction. What classic Republican principles are actually left? Small government? No. Love of the Constitution? Not a chance. Fiscal prudence? Don’t be silly. The murdering of Alex Pretti has even led to some questioning the sacred second amendment – anything to ‘own the libs’, I guess.

Tories and Republicans used to be proud and respectable, now they look like whinge bags with too much time on their hands. So what do they want? What’s the end goal? I’ve spent many hours on Twitter (formerly, shut up) trying to get to the bottom of it. Haven’t got very far. The best I can get is the typical reversion to the ‘good old days’ with a healthy dose of rose-tinted-spectalitus. A return to Old Blighty where we all eat tuna and cucumber sandwiches on a lovely green lawn while nanny fetches us another pot of tea.

“If people attracted to the far-right realise it or not, this is where it’s heading. It’s about subtraction, not addition”

But the real misery about this far-right utopia is not its depressive, blind nostalgia, it’s how bland it looks. A rigid, formulaic monoculture where we all follow the same routines. A world devoid of choice. If you want my philosophy, life is about doing stuff you enjoy. Watching different films, listening to new music, laughing at experimental comedy. I know, revolutionary stuff. But I keep on seeing nostalgic edits of the Maypole as a utopian pastime for far-right Twitter-goers. It looks okay but I’d rather go to a Playboi Carti concert. Having that choice is the core of living a fulfilling life. And many people I know who are inclined to vote Reform would agree. But this nostalgic monoculture doesn’t have that. Because Reform’s politics are based on emotional reactions, a lot of would-be voters don’t really query the long-term plan. The thing is, that plan just looks a bit dead.

One of the best perks of immigration is the choice. I love fish and chips, but I also love a trip down Mill Road for some tapas or noodles. A world without drill music would also be pretty boring. Diversity makes the world fun, but the far-right yearn for monotony. Traditional British culture has some cool stuff. But do you know what’s better than cool stuff? More cool stuff. It’s not a zero-sum game.

If people attracted to the far-right realise it or not, this is where it’s heading. It’s about subtraction, not addition. It wants less art, less choice, less fun. There’s something else it wants less of: power for regular people. Right-wing populism today is one of the most open displays of con-artistry in history. Trump’s obsession with stroking his ego on the world stage has completely torpedoed ‘America first’. The Epstein files in their entirety remain unreleased. I don’t think Farage’s various other jobs as an MP signal a desire to work for the people. These scumbags don’t care about us, they care about themselves. There’s only one thing they want: the world. And they’ll continue to enjoy the diversity of fun that the world has to offer when they get their hands on it. For the rest of us it’s miserable monotony.