Content Note: this article was written using the Pomodoro Technique.

I had planned to catch up on pre-recorded lectures during the Christmas holidays, but instead found myself learning the rap to It’s the End of the World As We Know It and considering if I should change my Facebook profile picture to a different flower. (Is the filter too obvious? Surely the angle is strange? But would changing it make it seem like I care about my profile picture? Loser.) After realising that I was quickly approaching my 7000th day on earth, I decided it was time to try out something new.

Someone once tried to convince me to use the Pomodoro Technique, and I politely said that it was the stupidest thing I’d ever heard. Invented by Francesco Cirillo in the 1980s, it is a supposedly “life-changing” time management method that consists of working for 25 minutes, in four sessions, with five-minute breaks in between. Could I perhaps have been a little too quick to judge it? I tested it out on an online lecture to find out.

Pomodoro One

After setting the timer on my phone, I start with locating the necessary supplies for the lecture. I manage to find a blanket (to hide under if the lecture is scary), a pillow (to punch if the lecturer says something I disagree with), a nice thick pair of headphones (to shut out the real world), and finally some O’boy (it’s delicious). (5 min)

I then tell my seven-year-old, technologically challenged computer to wake up and behave, and it tells me to update this and get service for that (blah-blah-blah). (10 min)

After logging on to Moodle, I pick a lecture I hope I haven’t seen before. When it doesn’t load immediately I am faced with a decision: either wait a bit longer or ask everyone in my course group chat if they are having similar struggles. I choose the second, obviously. (5 min)

Break

I let my following on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn know that I am taking a break and will not be replying to messages. (5 min)

Pomodoro Two

The lecture has finished loading, so now all I have to do is adjust it for optimal viewing efficiency, which requires some careful analysis. I start with the speed: does this particular lecturer usually add a dramatic pause in between every word or add a strange piece of jargon in between every word? 2.0x or 0.5x? (5 min)

Moving on to the sound, I work out if the lecturer has more of an ASMR voice or a ‘Porters-when-the-Clotted-cream-that-you-ordered-somehow-explodes’ voice. (2 min)

When everything is set up, I remember that I should probably be taking notes and create a new document for this purpose. I then use my technical expertise to align the note document window with the lecture window, so I can see them both at the same time. (18 min)

Break

Time is really flying by and I challenge my brain by considering the question: is time an illusion? And, if so, does that mean Pomodoro is all a lie??? (5 min)

Porodoro Three

I start the lecture and immediately find out that there is a handout with ready-made notes accompanying it. I delete my note document. (1 min)

The lecturer then begins to speak to me in a very condescending manner, so as a matter of principle, I refuse to listen. (They have a Pompous humourless Disease (PhD). Well, that’s not my problem!) Instead I try out my latest strange faces on the lecturer and wait for them to get weirded out. (24 min)

Break

Feeling a need to shake things up a bit, I attempt to recreate Fatboy Slim’s Weapon of Choice music video in my room and successfully break a few things (not including gravity). (5 min)

Pomodumbo Four

I am on the final stretch when I realise my screen is covered in fingerprints. How am I supposed to listen to lectures with such a messy screen? Like the tidy person I am, I give it a quick clean with my hand. (10 min)

Am I even paying attention to what is happening on the screen? Well, of course I am: I take notice of people flirting with each other on Crushbridge and I wonder if maybe someone misunderstood my name and my College and my location and my appearance. (10 min)

The lecturer finally drops the attitude and at last I can take in the information. It is super interesting, but sadly there are only five minutes left. (5 min)

Extended Break (30 min+)

Although I am now rather Pomodone, I conclude that if I pomodo this new pomothing at least once a day, I should most definitely be on track for a First.