Returning to Cambridge has certainly been… interesting. I spent the first week back wondering what to do with myself because I didn’t have essays or reading; for after all, what is Cambridge for a humble HSPSer without essays and reading? I felt at quite a loss as to what on earth to do with myself, so I pottered around and spent too much time thinking about room decor and queuing for Pret (like the majority of Cambridge students it would appear). Now that the frappe machine or whatever it is called (I am so clueless when it comes to technology) is not working, the frequency of my visits has dropped. But on the bright side I did figure that Pret is quieter when it is raining, because people don’t relish the prospect of getting drenched, so that is a perfect time to go and meet fellow northerners. In case you were wondering.

“On a dark, dark Wednesday evening one week ago now, I was suddenly overloaded with emails about actual work.”

On a dark, dark Wednesday evening one week ago now, I was suddenly overloaded with emails about actual work. Thus my week of aimlessness and bliss came to an end. So I skimmed a few emails and gave up on the rest, subsequently missing my first seminar, which wasn’t the greatest start. The next day I came late to my (technically second) seminar and accidentally slammed the bench down, which made everyone jump and stare at me. They were probably wondering how this creature had made their way to university, and I don’t blame them. Then just today (being Wednesday) I wrenched myself out of bed at 10am and made it to my seminar at one minute to eleven. Upon arriving I discovered that the seminar is actually at 1:30pm. So I rocked up at 1:30pm, but no one was there which was mildly concerning. Upon emailing my lecturer, I discovered that the seminar actually starts at 2, which everybody knew apart from me. I thus spent half an hour alone in an empty room contemplating the blandness of lecture rooms in general. In the future, I will check my timetable – note that I haven’t given a time frame for that.

Today I have also had (and am still having) one of my daily existential crises. Midway through my lecture, which I am partly spending writing this article, I decided I want to do Politics as well as Anthropology – the crux of the issue being that as it stands I only do Anthropology. I have thus sent out some frantic emails asking about swapping papers and probably severely annoyed my supervisors and DoS more than usual in the process, for which I’m not exactly proud. I’ll keep you updated on that one. In other news, I broke my phone last week. I wasn’t even surprised when it just stopped functioning because it has happened one too many times before. I think I should just have a Nokia brick, because I am evidently incapable of being an adult and looking after expensive things. I don’t understand how other people seem able to function with their pristine phones and clothes which aren’t stained with tea. Last week I spilt my glorious golden Yorkshire tea with a generous teaspoon of sugar over my white linen trousers and they haven’t recovered since, whilst my new light pink jumper is currently covered in bike grease.

“I probably should have persevered because then I could have talked about ‘overcoming challenges’ if I ever get a job interview.”

On top of the above, I also had another slight issue last week, but this time it was running-related. I didn’t break my rib again though, so it is less bad than my last running-related incident with the dog. As you may know if you follow my column – which you definitely should – I’ve spent the summer running even though I detest it, which is quite a bizarre state of affairs. As a result, I thought somewhat foolishly that I might be okay at it. So I sauntered along to the ‘slow’ running session. Long story short: it wasn’t slow – or I am very slow (probably the latter). I surrendered at the canal about 1k in. I’ve had better moments if I’m honest. In hindsight I probably should have persevered because then I could have talked about ‘overcoming challenges’ if I ever get a job interview. Ah well, I guess that ship has now sailed.

All in all then, I have had a typical week riddled with the classic confusion and mishap. I am really quite impressed that we are going into week six now and I am still vaguely functioning. We’ll see if my optimism is extinguished by the eve of week seven. Miracles can happen.