Banter-king peacock wreaks havoc in Fitzwilliam ‘great escape’

A peacock who pecked a porter and smashed through a window while trying to escape has sent the college meme lords into overdrive

Sneha Lala, Danny Wittenberg & Sophie Shennan

It came, it saw, it conqueredSophie Shennan

When Violet first reported a wild peacock trespassing on Cambridge grounds, there was widespread doubt as to the danger posed by the feathery fowl, and indeed the journalistic merit of the article.

“The peafowl proceeded to the pinnacle of its destruction”

A spokesperson for St John’s, where the peacock initially appeared, questioned whether we “actually think this is worth an article”, and lifestyle blog The Tab accused Violet of “scraping the barrel”.

This was, frankly, fair enough. No one could foresee the carnage that has followed. The scandalous pheasant has since wrought havoc at Fitzwilliam, smashing through a window and pecking a porter.

The peacock was caught procastigardeningWill Manson

The peacock appears to have engaged in something of a Cambridge crawl, with sightings at Lucy Cavendish and the maths faculty over the weekend. It then started sauntering around Fitz, their second recent wild animal intruder after porters spotted a snake in the grass.

“One student was so moved by its acrobatics that he added it to ‘Notable Alumni’ on the Fitzwilliam Wikipedia page”

As if to confuse matters further, the real snake is the peacock.

The peafowl proceeded to the pinnacle of its destruction, ascending to the second floor of N Block before staging a great escape through the window. The peacock cannot hide from the course of justice, however, as one second-year law student captured the crime on video.

The Great Escape caught on cameraSujina Amin Noor

“It climbed up to the second floor and blocked entry to the corridor. Then the porter apparently got pecked, so he went to get a curtain to be able to catch it and bring it down,” Sujina Amin Noor revealed.

The bizarre matador routine turned out to be in vain as the peacock managed to “break free through the shutters” and shatter the window behind – not before it flew at the porter and stole a few pecks.

Porter attempts to trap peacock under curtainsOfficial Fitz Page

Despite its self-destructive spiral, the peacock has caused a sensation at Fitzwilliam, with one student so moved by its acrobatics that he added it to the ‘Notable Alumni’ area of the Fitzwilliam Wikipedia page.

Sitting alongside esteemed politicians such as Andy Burnham and Sir Vince Cable on the ever-reliable online encyclopaedia, the Fitz Peacock is listed as the “first peafowl to be admitted to the college (2017), renowned for exhibitionist behaviour, land economist (probably)”.

Naturally, where the peacock goes, online havoc follows. Just as it smashed through the N-Block glass, so it has destroyed the revision progress of an entire college, immortalising it in meme form.

One representative page member, Andrew Carey, commented: “More invested in the Peacock saga by far than I am in my degree”.

A dramatic reconstruction of the peacock barrelling through the window has been posted to the Official Fitz Group on Facebook, while others have gone to the people to decide the name of the peacock.

Official Fitz Page

The peacock currently remains anonymous, but Nicky Pea leads the Facebook poll ahead of classic suggestions such as Algernon, Fitzcock, Montgomery, and typically popular PeacockmcPeacockface.


Mountain View

The Sidgwick library dropbox has a surprisingly sassy Twitter account

Fitzwilliam lol-kings have also pushed ahead with a second referendum, asking whether the peacock should be granted permanent residency at the college. ‘Let the magnificent animal stay to ensure strong and stable wildlife at Fitz’ is the preferred option at present, more than 50 votes above ‘Build a wall to keep all peacocks south of the border’.

Duckbridge better watch out. There’s a new bird about town