Along with having no friends and being naked in public, one of my greatest fears about going to university was that I’d have to give up some of my favourite middle class quasi-luxuries. Among these was good old chutney. Fortunately my fears were unfounded (about chutney – I have since been naked in public). Sainsbury’s Basics Onion Chutney comes in at recession price (90p), while ‘normal’ brands can set you back a few quid. It’s a basic onion condiment, without cosmopolitan touches such as chili and mango, with a hint of mustard – a more than worthy substitute for brand names, and, like a precocious eight year old at his parents’ dinner party, it can hold a conversation very well in company of even the most mature chedders. Against it is the alcoholic aftertaste; nail polish remover alcoholic, not Sailor Jerry’s Rum. In moderation though, it definitely deserves its place on a student’s shelf.

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