Why does it feel impossible to get over my ex? I’m constantly thinking about them and it feels like I’ll never be able to move on.

Rosina

Moving on from people we’ve loved is undeniably difficult, but I promise you that it is not impossible. It’s a good idea to take a moment to really focus on why you might be struggling so much with this new absence. Do you need closure? Are you feeling lonely, or bored in your newly single state?

If it’s the former, then you may need to immerse yourself in your past briefly, taking the time to go through and understand what happened. The challenge will be to do this without feeling guilty for dwelling on your ex; you’re deliberately stepping back down memory lane so that you can start to move forward again.

“Our ever-wandering minds can be one of the biggest barriers to moving on”

It’s also so important to remember that you’re not alone. If ever there was a time to use your friends and family as an emotional crutch, then it is now. Spending time with loved-ones could be vital in keeping yourself busy and focussed on the present. Our ever-wandering minds can be one of the biggest barriers to moving on. It’s definitely worth noticing the moments when you find yourself thinking about your ex again; once you’ve worked out any patterns then you can prepare some distractions for yourself.

The best thing I can do here is to remind you that you are strong and that you can get through this, but maybe turn off the ‘memory notifications’ in your phone’s gallery for now!

Nadya

Parting ways with someone you loved is never an easy process and can naturally provoke feelings of nostalgia. The emotions in the aftermath of a break-up are completely valid and you should never feel bad for experiencing them — if anything, allow yourself to feel them and give yourself time to reflect on why they have appeared. Expressing your thoughts or talking to your close friends or family is always a good idea — the support of others can prevent us from bottling up negative emotions and can help us move on.

Prioritise yourself and do whatever makes you feel best. Distraction — whether it be in the form of extracurriculars or sport — can be very helpful, but don’t pressure yourself to fill up your time if this doesn’t feel right. Stepping back from your normal commitments to take care of yourself can be equally beneficial, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Consider creating some distance in communication between you and your ex, as this can prevent thoughts of them recurring and allow you to heal quicker.

“The support of others can help us move on”

Most importantly, don’t lose hope. The fact that things didn’t work out between you and your ex is not at all a reflection on you or your self-worth, but an indication that current circumstances weren’t working out. You will continue to attract wonderful people who are filled with the same amazing qualities that you are. Though it might feel obscured at the moment, there is absolutely light at the end of the tunnel and you will come out of it stronger than ever.

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