Despite its declining status as the most meaningful, loving and stable form of romantic relationship, marriage remains an immensely valued social institution by many; one which allows couples to express their commitment to one another in a more solidified and open manner. What is perplexing, however, is that women are still expected to change their names on the entering of this mutual escapade, a social norm which quite profoundly contradicts the current emphasis on female status and gender equality.

The idea of a woman automatically changing her name to that of her husband symbolises the man as the more powerful and wealthy member of the relationship, and suggests that the woman is dependent and reliant upon him in some fundamental way. He is seen to be the one with authority and leadership, the one dictating the household and the one who defines the woman’s status. A person’s name is a crucial, perhaps the most crucial, expression of identity, and by sacrificing her name the woman’s identity is subsumed into that of her husband, and she becomes defined to a large extent by him. An automatic change of name amounts to a loss of existence as a fully autonomous individual engaged on equal terms within the marriage. Of course, the position of women has improved drastically in recent decades and marriages cannot be considered as unequal as they once were, yet the adoption of the husband’s surname has a symbolic significance which must be overcome if modern married households are to be truly egalitarian.

Similar arguments can be made about men being expected to pay for dates, something which again suggests that the man is the one with the money and status, and that he should always be the one to dictate the arrangement of romantic meetings. Essentially, he is in charge. Mary Wollstonecraft wrote in the late eighteenth century that women should not only appeal to men through their beauty, attractiveness and delicacy, but also aspire to be virtuous and rational beings, something later taken to mean being active in the public sphere, going out to work in the same way as men, and being a self-determining individual in control of one’s own life. The unquestioned continuation of name-changes and men paying for dates is a flagrant abuse of this advancement of position, something that perpetuates the idea of the powerful and wealthy man and the subordinate woman. This is not to say that gender categories should not exist, just to say that they should not be based on differential power and status.

It is common for women to say that they changed their name because they preferred their husband’s or because they wanted to be in a parental couple with the same name so that their family felt more unified. Both of these claims are flawed, however, as if this were the case then it would be expected that men would just as often change their names to that of their wife, since it is in no way inherent that men have better surnames. The reality remains that 90% of women change their name at marriage, confirming that there are wider social pressures for them to do so.

The idea that this is a celebrated tradition and convention which should be preserved, that this is “well...you know, just kinda how things are done” is a quite frankly repulsive position to take on the matter. As a society we must rationally try to improve our existence and make it a fairer and more equal one for everybody, and this includes levelling the status of men and women in whatever way we can. Gender equality is not something which will spring spontaneously from the soil like daffodils in spring, but something which requires active thought, political action and encouragement. To base an argument purely on tradition, regardless of its ethical consequences, is a pathetic excuse for the preservation of anything at all, an abdication of the moralising powers of our species, a betrayal of the human intellect.

What must be emphasised, though, is that women have full choice over whether to change their names at marriage, and it would of course be wrong to suggest that they would ever be forced not to change.

Nevertheless, despite the goals of feminism being wide and numerous, and despite different women having different beliefs as to how to equalise relationships and achieve the same status as men, there appears little that automatically changing name at marriage does to enhance the position of females in society, and little that it does to erode the symbolic image of the powerful man and dependent women.