My first was interrupted by her boyfriend. She greeted him with the words: “What the FUCK are you doing here?” after he approached us in the Vaults. I sipped my fruity cocktail in awkward silence.

The second was even more awkward. I had bribed for a girl I had been seeing at the time, only for us to break things off before the date. Neither of us wanted to face that pitfall, so we mutually decided to see if our RAG Blind Date Reps would let us change. Mine only agreed to the change on the condition that I date two women (every year Reps face a shortage of men). Recently single, I was happy to oblige.

Luck was not on my side. The first form was for my ex girlfriend’s flatmate (I kid you not). The second was only slightly more promising – an older student, a mature woman from a grad college. Disheartened by my bad luck, I hoped she’d be an alluring cougar.

She wasn’t.

Nevertheless, I dated both that night. The older student was clearly taking RAG Blind Date as a serious attempt to find a soul mate. After a pity-pint, I extricated myself and made my way to the second date, which can only be described as “amicable”. Nothing happened – not that I had expected anything.

By the time I reached my third year, I decided to take matters into my own hand. I became a RAG Blind Date Rep and gave myself 10 out of 10 in all categories (yes, Reps grade you on a numerical scale based on outgoingness and attractiveness). I approached other Reps and ordered them to give me their best dates. No more girls with boyfriends! No more mature PhD students!

I stepped up to the plate and took on three dates. I contacted them and arranged for us to meet in the same pub, one after the other, giving them 45-minute slots to impress me.

The first girl was pretty, but we just didn’t click:

Me: “So, what did you do over the holidays?”

Girl A: “I worked in a box factory.”

Me: “Oh... umm – did you do anything else?”

Girl A: “I also worked in a crisps factory.”

The second girl was fun, and we still remain in contact. The third was forgettable.

I didn’t do RAG Blind Date this year.