I am considering taking an anti-Topshop vow. I’ve reached the conclusion that, though it may masquerade as a benign hobby, spending time in the consumerist paradise of Lion’s Yard has not only evaporated my bank balance but destroyed my degree as well.

Why was it decided to initiate such a large and ambitious retail project in a student town where students are meant to be acting studiously? Why, for that matter, do so many retail establishments offer ‘student discounts’ when students clearly need no encouragement in spending their student ‘loan’? (Or ‘gift’ as I prefer to think of it.)

Anyway, it’s easy to forget when living in our bubble that, at some point, we are going to need to find a job and repay our debts. First, though, we need to pass our exams: easier said than done. Even then we’re not guaranteed employment in today’s competitive labour market. I can’t even get part-time work waitressing. I tell myself I’m ‘over-qualified’.

And despite statistics showing a rise in the number of students achieving top grades (Cambridge now demands an A* at A level; so glad I missed that boat), it saddens me that the belief in education for its own sake is declining in the face of less ambitious materialistic goals. It may, of course, just be that my grandparents are right and exams are getting easier, though 36 hours awake and 17 cups of coffee later and I would beg to differ.

Indeed, so gloomy is the picture I have painted that you may be mistaken in thinking that things could not get worse. Wrong: within the month Borders will be replaced in the centre of Cambridge by the budget-hunters’ heaven, TK Maxx. It seems that even in what is purported to be one of the top educational establishments in the world, consumerism is winning out over intellectual inquiry.

Is it any wonder we would rather go shopping than revise? Or, indeed, to buy a book, let alone read one. Supply and demand, you might retort. Maybe. The retail industry may simply be responding to our selfish demands, as opposed to a global economic conspiracy against self-improvement. Somehow this is even more depressing. And as results time comes round, some of us (i.e. me) may be regretting that evening we spent at Topshop’s (20 percent!) sale for students instead of the seminar on British economic decline.

Tempted to go out and buy myself a nice summer dress to fill the void in my soul and conscience, I recently surprised myself by buying what looks like a 1000-page textbook instead. I’m striking back against the global capitalist hegemony – one step at a time.