The say of St John’s College…

Violet’s mysterious columnist Melbury is back with a short — and rather morbid — poem for you

Melbury ​​​​​​​​​​

"That’ll teach the thoughtless tyrants to feed the sparrows"

They say of St John’s College, 

In their gardens, high and low, 

That sparrows there do forage, 

For whatever fruits there grow. 


Woe did reign when winter came! 

With flowers dead and bushes bare, 

The sparrows were of thinnest frame, 

Until the gardener found them there. 


“Come, young birds!”, the gardener cried, 

“Here’s nuts an’ worms for eatin’!”

T’sparrows, overjoyed, now fly, 

To dine, while happ’ly tweeting. 


But the eagles, perched nearby, 

Are not quite as contented. 

How could he limit kindness so? 

His act they quite resented. 


“What of us, you beastly man?!

You limit your affections! 

Can’t you see that we remain, 

‘Neath hunger’s harsh subjection?”



Mountain View

”Rudolph, the trumpet, and other stories”

This brute must be corrected! 

And so plans were soon devised,

To teach him for’s neglecting, 

They pecked out the gardener’s eyes. 


As I’m sure you will agree, dear reader — of sound mind that you are —the eagles took a most reasonable course. That’ll teach the thoughtless tyrants to feed the sparrows.