Over the previous two weeks I have attempted yoga and a digital detox in order to complete my goal of becoming the “perfect student”. With the resounding success of the last two weeks I was on a roll. Nothing could stop me from fulfilling my Tripos-topping potential. Except, apparently, getting up at what is, for most people, a regular wake-up time.

Study YouTubers seem to be competing with each other as to who can get up the earliest. 7am, 6am, 5am. I believe they are tending towards exclusively sleeping on Concorde flights from London to New York in an attempt to wake up before they have gone to sleep. Unfortunately, I do not have the financial resources to charter a Concorde. Embarrassingly, nor do I have the ability to wake up before 9am.

My plan was to get up with the sun and experience the dawn outside. It started as a plan to do so every day for a week. After day one, it became most days in the week. After day three, it became one day in the week. After day seven, it became yet another unfulfilled pipe dream.

In my defence, on day one it was raining. Who can be expected to go outside at 7.30am (it is worth mentioning that sunrise is at the very reasonable time of 7.30am at this time of year) in the pouring (drizzling) rain? I’m pretty sure even the birds decided to stay in their tree houses that day, due to the monsoon-like (drizzling) conditions.

“The sound of my alarm shook me awake and gave me just enough energy to stretch my arm out from under the covers and switch it off again.”

Day two was less justified. The weather was perfect – cold, but refreshing and crisp. Like a vodka on the rocks. Or a cold crisp. I, however, was comfortably wrapped up, like the filling inside a burrito – cocooned in duvets and blankets and topped with cheese and chilli sauce – only £6.75! (Or £7.00 if you want guac.) The sound of my alarm shook me awake and gave me just enough energy to stretch my arm out from under the covers and switch it off again.

I knew full well that I was not acting like the perfect student, whom it is my mission to become. But sometimes in life it is important to accept who you are. I woke up at 6.45am for the school bus every weekday for seven years, but that wasn’t some training programme for when life requires early mornings. It was a credit builder: bank the hours now and you can wake up at 10 for the rest of your life. Right?

For the Study-Tubers, apparently not. Quite how they manage to get up at 5am every day, and then do yoga and make lecture notes for 25 hours and produce content for their channels is beyond me. Unless they don’t actually do all those things every day … No. Let’s not be cynical.

Day three to six came and went. I remained wrapped in bedding every morning for the whole week. Einstein, who I’m going to guess got up at 1pm like me, said “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So, on day seven, I decided to do something different. Instead of setting my alarm for 7.30, I set it for 7.35. Those extra five minutes of sleep were surely going to make all the difference.

Turns out: they didn’t. I won’t be taking any more advice from Einstein.

Next week, I shall be meditating. And maybe, while I’m at it, I’ll finally get up with the sun. Alas, I must go. I have a Concorde flight to catch.