The pitch for this read: “The Weekly W(h)ine”.

Well, let me tell you, I’ve whined more whines this week than my college has fined corona fines all term. According to The Tab, that’s a lot. Set yourself up with a three-course meal because today, I’ll happily whine and dine you. I’d say the pleasure is all mine, but I cannot think of a word more incongruous with the events of 2021 thus far.

Even the title of the pitch caused me grief. “Some of us are doing Dry January, would it kill you over at Violet to be a bit more sensitive?!” This I joke about – it has ultimately been an extremely underwhelming experience, and I have suspicions that anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is lying.

I have neither saved the money one would from doing Dry January in any other year (having not set foot over the threshold of an alcohol-providing establishment all month anyway), nor managed to fit the slim and trim ‘new year, new me’ vision (turns out a G&T every now and then is probably going to do less damage than an eight-hour sedentary work day, seven days a week). I suppose I have neither lost the pounds I wanted to, nor saved the pounds I wanted to. Classic.

It seems I have gone off on a tangent. I don’t mean to rag you, Violet, I really do like the idea. I’m just extremely irritable at the minute – please do forgive me. My frustrations all came to a head this morning, an hour and a half into what was meant to be my big catch-up work day (imagine even having to ‘catch-up’ in week one – I hate myself too).

In short, i-broke-my-space-bar.it-got-jammed-and-i-tried-to-fix-it-but-obviously-made-it-a-hundred-times-worse.in-fact-lets-say-four-hundred-times-worse,since-that-is-what-a-repair-has-been-estimated-to-cost.that-is-the-equivalent-of-two-weeks’-worth-of-college-rent,for-one-tiny-key.i-will-give-you-a-minute-to-pick-your-jaw-back-up-from-the-floor.i-told-my-supervisor-about-the-obvious-impediment-to-essay-writing-and-she-said-that-at-least-it-might-prepare-me-for-deciphering-epigraphy.i-did-not-find-this-comment-very-comforting.later-a-friend-told-me-to-use-an-alternatekey.suggestions$were$the$dollar$sign$which$i$suppose$is$a$bit$more$cash$money$or#the#hashtag#which#seems#a#bit#too#millennial#even#for#me#.my-conclusion-is-that-i-hate-technology(or-do-i-just-hate-the-fact-that-i-don’t-really-know-how-it-works),i-hate-that-i-am-already-six-lectures-behind,and-i-hate-online-uni.it’s-not-working-it’s-not-you,it’s-me-i-guess-i-just-want-my-personal-space-back.