I don’t want to brag, but I consider myself somewhat of an expert on lockdowns, quarantines, confinements, or whatever you wish to call them.

I spent the first two months confined in Paris, where the lockdown orders got so strict we could not go out without filling in a paper detailing the purpose of our outing, could not go farther than 1km from our apartment, and were accosted by some niche jurisdictions such as a ban on jogging between 11AM and 6PM. (A real blow to my fitness routine... Ok this didn’t affect me at all).

On top of this initial two-month confinement, I am an international student, so I need to quarantine two weeks upon my arrival in the UK. This time, I cannot even leave the house. (Still no jogging then – truly devastating.)

“I definitely think I possess some kind of expertise on the matter of staying at home”

And just in case I did not quite get enough time locked in between four walls during the last months- just in case I have been seeing too much of the outside world - I am quarantining at my friend’s place and her uncle has been coughing for the last six days. He has been tested for COVID and we are waiting for his results.

If he is positive, I might have to stay in solitary confinement for an additional two weeks.

So, I definitely think I possess some kind of expertise on the matter of staying at home, especially if expertise is assessed by simple metrics that act as confinement survival mechanisms like:

To increase one’s capacity to binge random YouTube videos

Since my first confinement experience, I have started following German and Italian YouTubers because I was out of French YouTubers. I don’t know if I improved my language skills but I did learn a lot about the different ways of making coffee, or that Germans consider Charlemagne a German king. (Not French? Truly heart-breaking.)

To learn new ways to produce cringe online content

During lockdown, my friends started producing cool content like songs or artsy feeds. I resisted the trend to start new social media accounts etc during my first lockdown. But now I admit I began a cringe secondary Instagram account where I post clips of things I find aesthetic. Read: uncalled for pictures of the Seine or clips of my friend stirring a Dalgona coffee with a zoom in on the foam.

To slide into random DMs...

Hehe.

To be ridiculously, excessively healthy

Went to bed early during the first lockdown. Rediscovered mornings. Rediscovered eating at fixed times (what?). Rediscovered drinking only as an accompaniment to healthy Friday night dinners, and under the forms of a solitary (lonely?) glass of wine. Then got out of lockdown. Saw my friends, went to the beach, got my uni lifestyle back. And now, I am back to healthy because I am quarantining at a house with quite transparent curtains, so I wake up at 7. And I am quarantining with a vegan family. I have discovered more vegetables in my two weeks here than in my whole past existence. And last but NOT least I can’t binge baguettes anymore, so my health has increased threefold. I love the UK but this country can’t bake a decent baguette to save its life. I did suffer through acute withdrawal symptoms when I had to live without scones in France though.

To know and understand why I am quarantining

I thought I would end on a cheesy note so people would not think I am one of those anti-mask protester / Covid-19 deniers  that spend their life savings on suing the ‘deep state’ that dares ask them to put on hand sanitiser. Also, at the beginning of our two-week quarantine, the friend I am quarantining with suggested we binge the five Twilight movies, so I have also gained expertise on cheesiness. (Grossly zoomed-in slow-mo’s of Bella and Edward looking at each other really do constitute three-quarters of the movies.) So – quarantining hasn’t even been hard. I was surrounded by people I love each time. I am healthy. My relatives are healthy - and I hope my friend’s uncle will turn out not to be infected. Compared to those asked to put their lives at risk by saving others; or those the pandemic has forced into poverty, having to spend some time at home is a privileged status.

And I mean, I am developing a whole range of highly marketable skills (found myself watching a Danish series about a primary school teacher the other day) and learning a wide-range of facts (did you know the child of Bella and Edward was computer-generated instead of a real person for approximately half of the 5th movie). And I think when the quarantine ends, I will have learned the most useful skill of all: how to never be bored again.