When my girlfriend and I started dating in sixth form, we made a deal that we’d break up before we went to uni. Her house was a 20-minute bus ride from mine, and all we knew about long-distance relationships is that they are notoriously messy. “Don’t do it!” screamed Cosmopolitan, the Tab, and even (yes, I went there) Reddit. One Guardian headline was particularly damning: “Don’t even think about starting university in a relationship”.

Well, sorry to the Guardian’s thought police, but that break up clearly didn’t go to plan. Now I’m starting second year, and despite all the miscommunication, the what-if-she-finds-someone-better-than-me-who’s-actually-in-the-same-city, and the passionate (desperate) 3am phone sex, I genuinely couldn’t wish for a better partner. Long-distance relationships are possible at Cambridge, no matter what horror stories your parents are preaching. All it takes is regular conversation, a whole lot of trust, and the occasional cheeky mirror selfie.

“Gone are the days of ‘kiss and make up’, unless you’re a fan of the Dua Lipa pop hit”

First thing’s first though: I’m not going to lie, being 200+ miles away from your girlfriend can sometimes be a bit of a bummer. Gone are the days of ‘kiss and make up’, unless you’re a fan of the Dua Lipa pop hit. When my girlfriend caught the flu, it wasn’t as if I could just pop round with some Lemsip and a chocolate orange; when I got a part in a play, she couldn’t swing by and watch. Most importantly, if you want to go long-distance, you have to be prepared to invest quality, emotional time in each other, even when it feels like the rest of Cambridge is locking lips in a perpetual snog-fest. Let’s be real, if your favourite thing about your boyfriend Timmy is his stellar ab definition… honestly? It’s probably better to break up.

This is something that my girlfriend and I learnt gradually: in a long-distance relationship, communication becomes a make-or-break point. At the beginning of first term, we misinterpreted the concept of ‘giving each other space’ as meaning we absolutely shouldn’t have any contact, ever. When we did call, we were so nervous to make our time together count that we ended up having those stilted, stiff kinds of conversation that don’t mean anything at all. Predictably, this was not a great idea. My girlfriend is also my best friend, so by setting limits on how often we talked, all we succeeded in doing was making each other sad, lonely, and a little bit jealous.

As any scientist will tell you, space is relative.

It’s true that in many ways, a long-distance relationship can give you freedom. To some extent, I suppose that it’s a little like being single. You’re Bonnie without your Clyde, Juliet without your Romeo, and everyone at Cambridge is going to see you as yourself, rather than as half of a pair. The main part of your day can be spent on friendships and individual aspirations; you both have the opportunity to grow as independent people, your lives unfurling their separate stories in a way that wasn’t possible at school.

“...though you may be in the middle of different character arcs, you’re still playing the leads in the same YA romcom”

At the same time, this doesn’t mean that your relationship has to lose any of its former spark. After all, though you may be in the middle of different character arcs, you’re still playing the leads in the same YA romcom. Regular communication means that neither of you have to feel out of the loop, whether you’re ranting about your essay crises or gushing over your lovely new friends. Have Zoom dinner dates, play fuck marry kill over the phone, or just check in for a drunk 5 minutes as you wobble your way back home from Fez. Sending goodnight texts at 7pm isn’t really going to cut it- you’ve got to build common ground out of your separate lives, or you’re going to forget why you ever stayed together. What’s more, a lack of communication quickly spirals into over-thinking.

“Maybe she’s saying goodnight so early because she just wants to get rid of me. Maybe she’s met someone else. Maybe she’s actually straight. Maybe she just thought I looked kind of like a man. Maybe she’s-”

Although my girlfriend may like to consider herself an unflappable stoic, the thing is, as soon as we got into a regular habit of talking about our Feelings, everything became a hell of a lot easier.

Space is good. Too much space is devastating. As any tightrope-walker will tell you, it’s a question of balance.

When I miss my girlfriend – and I inevitably do – I take a look at the photos I’ve stuck up on my pinboard, or flick through the scrapbook she made me in first year. I have a bracelet I wear to formals that she handmade herself, and we send each other care packages and letters by mail. At the end of term, or if we manage a visit, I am so much more grateful for the time we get to spend together. I’m reminded of why I’m doing this whole long-distance thing in the first place.

And why am I doing this? I’ve been asked before why I bother going through long-distance at all, when there’s plenty of single people who are in the same city. What these questions miss is that I don’t actually see my long-distance relationship as a bother. My girlfriend is the calm voice in my ear after a restless day, and as much of a friend now as she ever has been. We’re in a relationship, same as any other, and we just so happen to have to work a little harder to ensure distance doesn’t end up distorting that. It’s an arrangement that isn’t for everyone, but I reckon it’s got better chances than people give it credit for.

So, if you’re thinking of ditching your girlfriend or boyfriend just because you read seven articles saying that you should, this is your sign not to do that. Blame it on me if it all goes tits up. After all - who’s afraid of an LDR?