The pressure to get a good gift is always high, but for Secret Santa it’s somehow higher. So if you’re as overwhelmed as I am, then you’re in luck - here’s Violet’s guide to getting the perfect Secret Santa gift.

The In-Joke Gift

Remember that one time in the Cindies smoking area when they made a hilarious comment about fish? Perfect, go to the market and buy them a whole salmon. Or that running joke that came out of something unspeakable that happened in Freshers' Week? I won’t go into details, but there’s a reason that I will be giving an obscene amount of socks to my Secret Santa.

The Generic Gift (a.k.a. when you don’t know them at all)

So you draw that one person who, out of everyone in the group, you’ve spoken to the least. Hurrah. But you’re still friends. Ish. And you want them to know that you value them as someone who you could know better in the future. But you don’t want to over-commit. These are early days. If literally the only thing you know about your person is what they study then resort to subject-related tatt. For example, if you’re unsure what to get that lawyer across the hall, why not a £4 novelty gavel? Can’t go wrong.

The Actually-Thoughtful Gift

Your immediate reaction to seeing that you’ve drawn the name of your closest friend was joy. But then it slowly dawns on you that you’re meant to know this person relatively well. Prepare to spend the next week pouring over past conversations trying to work out what your supposed “best” friend might actually want. I can’t help you with this one, all I can say is good luck!

"Slowly dawns on you that you’re meant to know this person relatively well"

The Chocolate Cop-Out

The ideal choice if you’re stuck for inspiration. But even this impersonal, universally-appreciated present can be complicated: one girl in my giving group detests Galaxy and another swears that if anyone gives her Cadbury’s she’ll murder them in their sleep. Nonetheless, if you’ve basically never spoken to the person you’re buying for then it’s always a safe bet, as long as you go big. No-one cares if your budget app is weeping and Freddo prices have become extortionate, if you’re putting zero thought into your gift, you have to compensate in quantity.

So there you have it, those are your options. I hope you all manage to find something vaguely acceptable and not-too-generic for the special (or not so special) people in your lives.