It’s easy to forget that just two months ago Cambridge was covered in snow. Now we’ve got blazing sun and tropical downpours – extreme, changeable weather? I call it global warming. Meanwhile Donald still insists that climate change isn’t a thing. This man is literally the President of the United States and Ruler of the Free World. It’s clearly a great time to be an utter moron.

I’ve always been very pro-saving-the-environment, and when I found out that a staggering 51% of all greenhouse gas emissions are created via animal agriculture, I decided that wilful ignorance was no longer sustainable. So back in January, I signed up to Vegajanuary vegjan Veganuary – it’s a shit name but basically you give up all meat and animal products for a month. I completed it and learnt a lot in the process.

In Cambridge, it was actually very easy to be vegan. There are lots of vegan options popping up like mushrooms (funnily enough a staple for a delicious vegan risotto or pasta dish) throughout the city, as well as the totally vegan Stem and Glory on Kings Street which seems to be making an absolute killing, which, ironically, is not very vegan of them. Zizzi’s and Pizza Express do delicious vegan pizzas and most burger places now offer a variety of vegan burgers. Nice vegan burgers made from plants instead of eyeballs, skin and bumholes. “DISGUSTING!” the meat-eaters cry. My dad is one of these and throughout January delivered a series of masterclasses in vegan-themed dad-banter.

“Bob the broccoli died for you Nina…” “Yep thanks dad, I can hear Bob’s screams now and the guilt is eating me up.” “I guess Guilt’s not vegan then. Guilt’s got the right idea.” Wow.

Where will I get my protein from? Bitch … peas. And my vitamin B12 intake? Vitamin B12 tablets duh.

My dad, bless him, is, however, merely confused. If I follow his reasoning correctly, we’re “fine to eat cows because they only eat grass so they’re basically grass so they’re vegan”. I tried to explain to him that on that same basis he would be happy to eat my only vegan friend. Alarmingly, he was reluctant to make any exception to his brilliant logic, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he ate the Cathy to prove his point.

My dad may be past saving, but for anyone interested in educating themselves there are some great FAQs on the vegan society website.

A personal favourite from the FAQ section: “Is it vegan to have sexual relations with a pig?” Clearly the question on everyone’s lips – everyone except David’s, where there is probably instead a pig.

Ultimately, I haven’t stayed completely vegan. Sometimes when I’m stressed I get desperate for a bit of cake. Some would call it being flexitarian, some call it freegan, I’d say it’s being realistic. Perhaps we shouldn’t put labels on it. But if everyone could be a bit more mindful of what they’re eating that’d be a big step in the right direction. I’ll be the first to admit that cutting out animal products isn’t all that easy but being adventurous and thinking outside the box of chicken nuggets has shown me that there’s actually a lot more to food than Maccies. You may fight me, and you may win because I am a protein deficient vegan, but it’s true.