Daily Mail squeals with displeasure as Cambridge buys guinea pigs for ‘snowflake students’

The comment section sparked debate about what Vir-guinea Woolf means for the future of our generation

Felix Peckham & Anna Jennings

Guinea pigs and snowflakes. Name a more iconic duoCASEY KOKOSKA/COMPOSITE: ANNA JENNINGS

We’re always glad when Violet is read by national newspapers, so we squeaked with joy when we discovered Violet’s own reporting on Lucy Cavendish’s guinea pigs was echoed by the UK’s second-most widely distributed daily newspaper, The Daily Mail.

The tabloid publication eschewed pig-puns to run the iconic headline, “Snowflake students at Cambridge University are being given GUINEA PIGS to help ease their stress levels including three named after feminist icons.”

Violet was left with many questions after reading this headline. How CAN Lucy Cavendish let its students own GUINEA PIGS? How dare they name them after FEMINIST ICONS? And what do SNOWFLAKE STUDENTS mean for Western civilisation?

Luckily, in the comments section, the Mail’s dedicated posse of keyboard warriors were on-hand to provide answers to these pressing concerns. Avid readers didn’t hold back in drawing the blatant parallels between the ‘snowflakes’ at Lucy Cavendish, and the seeming cultural and political decline of the West.

RyanMeyer, from Denver, Colorado, said what we were all thinking: “The West is self destructing.” He goes on to offer a comparative political assessment that any HSPSer would be proud of: “They are not doing this kind of stuff in China. You either get with the program and work hard or you're out and they don't care about your feelings.”

Scary to think that 895 people 'up' voted this commentDAILY MAIL

‘Concerned79’ saw this news as a damning indictment of our nation: “God help us if these people are the future of our country”. Jay H. from Birmingham, meanwhile, was more concerned with rodent well-being, writing: “God help the Guinea Pigs”.


Mountain View

Pet guinea pigs offered places at Lucy Cavendish

The article goes on to outline the scheme at Lucy Cavendish, quoting Student Union Officer Laura McClintock, and speaking to the Senior Tutor about the pig-nificance of this guinea-ormous event.

Jonah Surkes, former Cambridge Union president and guinea pig enthusiast, commented that “they’re clutching at straws here, The Daily Mail has done a real hutch-et job of focusing on this when they should be preparing for Caesarian Sunday. It’s going to be guinea BIG.”