Netflix has bought The War on VPNs to the city of Cambridge. Students at Robinson have been left shocked, distressed and Netflix-less after the popular streaming site seems to have blocked the entire college network.

Robinson students keen to watch Making a Murderer, Mad Men or Queer Eye have been left frustrated. A black screen appears when trying to access the site, with Netflix saying “Oops, something went wrong…”. Passive aggressive much?

Another student, who for legal reasons must remain anonymous, stated that “I bet you PornHub still works.”

Netflix then go onto say that “you seem to be using an unblocker or proxy”. Violet’s technical experts aren’t exactly sure what this means, but it certainly doesn’t sound good.

Unsurprisingly, the students of this red-brick college are now experiencing deep existential angst, unsure how to continue into week two deprived of their favourite means of procrastination.

Chyna Fairclough, a lawyer at Robinson, suggested “protest” if the college is unable to revive Netflix, while another said that this development will “add to exam term stress”. Teddy Mack, a second year MMLer, goes on to say that “without Netflix there can be no chill!” BBC iPlayer and chill doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

Teddy, who it seems has styled himself on the late Karl Marx, also delivered this stunning and mobilising rhetoric: “This can’t stand. It’s time to stand up for what we believe in! Let’s mobilise the group chats!”

Another student, who for legal reasons must remain anonymous, stated that “I bet you PornHub still works.” Violet can neither confirm nor deny this.

Robinson’s Facebook meme page, Robinson College memes for red brick teens, has also weighed in on the Netflix outage.

Robinson College have issued an email about the travesty of epic proportions which unfolded across the College overnight. They ask College members to “be aware that this is not a College issue or block”, and explain that they are working to resolve the matter as quickly as possible.

Violet will update this breaking story as we receive further updates from RuPaul-less Robinson.

• Updated 1:07pm, 2nd May 2018: This article was updated to include more information from Robinson college.