Pembroke has descended into brunch-based anarchy this week. A Violet source embedded in deep-cover within the Pembroke college kitchens has reported mass discontent across the student body.

For Cambridge colleges, brunch has long been a source of competition and pride – and now bitter disappointment and anger. Pembroke has a particularly mighty reputation to maintain, with inevitable rumours about Pembroke’s ‘Michelin chef’ circulating annually during Freshers’ Week.

In an attempt to allegedly curb the influx of tourists getting in on the Pembroke brunch bonzana, the College has made the decision to dramatically increase the prices of their brunch goods.

As if this wasn’t enough of a bitter pill to swallow, they’ve added some additions to their weekly offering which one student described as “frankly bizarre”. The new additions include steak, tortillas and – wait for it – breaded brie. Yes, brie covered in… bread?

According to student sources, it seems that the Pembroke catering department have chosen to establish this ‘alternative’ brunch on Saturdays and simultaneously cancel the regular Sunday brunch, causing widespread hysteria.

The reaction to this two-fold attack on the hallowed turf of brunch has been met by open animosity. The keyboard warriors of Pembroke have launched a tirade against the powers that be at Pembroke, specifically those who oversee the operation of brunch at the College.

The Pembroke Food for Thought Facebook page has exploded with angry and passive aggressive tokens of disapproval at the new brunch regime. Indeed a certain CUSU President-Elect weighed in with her own balanced and nuanced perspective, claiming “STEAK IS NOT BRUNCH”. We’re with you on that one, Evie.

Pembroke College Memes for Trough-Loving Teens, the satirical page dedicated to Pembroke-related memes, has also been leading the attack.

Also posting this gem:

Violet waits with breaded breath for the latest upsteakes in this developing drama.