Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Yet although National Vegetarian Week has (hopefully) left a trail of animal-lovers in its wake, taking fashion inspo from our critter companions is probably best reserved for Caesarean Sunday. Should you wish to channel your inner spirit animal during May Week, though, here is my short but concise how-to guide.

Butterfly: you might not be edgy, and might prefer Cindies to ArcSoc, but there’s nothing wrong with that! You’ve hidden yourself away in a chrysalis of books and notes for the past eight weeks, but now you can emerge even more beautiful than before, as the ‘bringer of peace and joy’, you can go forth and spread your happiness around Cambridge. Your outfit will probably not be anything too radical, but you’ll look great in it, which is all that really matters.

Cat: as the possessor of ‘agility and flexibility’, your May Ball MO is to cut some wicked shapes on the dance floor. A clingy outfit will restrict your cavorting, so considering a shorter cut, or even a jumpsuit, could be a good shout.

“You’ve hidden yourself away in a chrysalis of books and notes for the past eight weeks, but now you can emerge even more beautiful than before”

Camel: you consider yourself to be well adapted to your usual situation, but rather clumsy in others. If you’ve been almost teetotal for eight weeks, this could be you. Equally, this could still be you if you don’t normally find yourself trotting around Cambridge in stilettos, and suddenly have to last twelve hours in a pair. Alas, there are also those who are just born clumsy. I happen to be all three. If you swipe right for a chocolate fountain or a glass of red, you’re gonna have to swipe left for a pale dress. Sorry kids. Although camels do have humps for a reason, so you could put a small amount of red into storage before you set out, should you consider it necessary.

Flamingo: you have a ‘flirtatious and flamboyant’ dress sense. The arts student stereotype, with a hint of RuPaul, perhaps. So think bright colours (not for suit-wearers though, *cry*), folds of fabric, and a dramatic silhouette. Hopefully you’re not periodically switching between the leg you’re standing on due to impractical footwear though, that one is best left to the birds.

Sloth: if the sloth is your spirit animal, you like to escape reality, and hate to follow the crowd. You’re the edgy kid that has a ticket to King’s Bunker and legit no other balls because you’re way too cool for that shit. And do you need me, a fashion columnist who has only been to Turf twice, to tell you what to wear? No, you do not. Go create some kickass costume beyond the wildest realms of your imagination. Or dress as a normal person to be ‘meta-ironic’. Either way, everyone else wants to be as cool as you, and don’t forget that.

“Do you need me, a fashion columnist who has only been to Turf twice, to tell you what to wear? No, you do not”

Snake: contrary to the derogatory label you might apply to the least trustworthy of your acquaintances, in the spirit animal world, snakes have a good reputation and are linked to creation and transformation. This could mean you’re going to make your outfit from scratch (which would be The. Coolest. Thing. EVER), or alter something you already have. Or, it might mean that you’re going pick an absolute curveball of an outfit that will blow the expectations of your friends out of the water. What it definitely does not mean, however, is that you should wear snake print. There’s a time and a place for that, and it’s certainly not May Week.

Thread Flair: Matching May Ball Dresses

Arctic fox: apparently these guys are sly and cunning, are able to make a lot out of very little. Maybe you’d like to *cough* read my article on how to make to most of a budget. And if you are going to push the limits of your cunningness to the max, be sure to wear something that blends into your surroundings when you sneak incognito into your chosen ball.

Hawk: …well fancy that! I just hit my word limit. Good job you knew what was coming though, right?