It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day, you’ve missed out on those table reservations, Amazon hasn’t come through with the present, your felt tips have run out for that all-important handmade card, and to top it all off, there’s not a rose to be seen in the supermarkets. In summary, the big V-Day is looking about as romantic as an outbreak of herpes. 

Resist the urge to panic.

Whether it’s for your partner, college spouse, Tinder date or BFF, these foodie tips will create a memorable Valentine’s Day food fest, minus the madness.

1. Couple’s carpet picnic

Grab your lover’s favourite foods and spoil them with a picnic feast. Whether they have a taste for toffee popcorn, love munching M&Ms or have a heart for ham sandwiches, pick their favourite nibbles, chuck a blanket on your floor and switch on some fairy lights for a romantic meal in a pinch.

“And if all else fails, just stick on one of those edible candy thongs”

Cater to their every food whim and you’ll be sure to win big brownie points – especially if their tastes are more obscure or unconventional. Bonus points if you remember a particular brand they like; perhaps they can’t resist Sainsbury’s red velvet cupcakes, or they’re a sucker for Mud Pie ice cream from M&S. If you’re stuck for ideas, grab a selection of yummy cakes or pastries and have a pudding feast instead.

If you’re feeling brave (and the weather’s feeling kind), take it outside – rooftops, balconies, lawns or benches by the riverside are all perfectly romantic places. 

2. Cocktail party

A favourite for ‘Galentine’s’ or ‘Palentine’s’, or if your relationship is on the rocks (haha, look at the alcohol pun), gather your friends for a night of cocktails. Bring bottles of booze and mixers and experiment with flavour combos while getting drunk enough not to worry about your disintegrating college marriage/sense of self/workload stamina, etc. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the wine you’re with. For those particularly cynical about Valentine’s, why not bring Cards Against Humanity, so you can really thrash out that inner bitterness.

3. Brekkie-in-bed

A true classic and for good reason. Heat a pack of scotch pancakes in the microwave or toaster and serve with maple syrup and rashers of smoky bacon, or slather the pancakes with Nutella and strawberries. If you’re feeling extra creative/soppy you could cut a little heart in the pancakes. Simple and sweet (literally).

Braving the world as a culinary master? Cook some crepes yourself, or even try a mini fry-up. Too tricky for you? Order Deliveroo from Benets or CrepeAffaire or nab some brunch at the buttery and hand deliver it to your other half.

4. Ready (for you) meals

If you’re lucky enough to have a decent kitchen, why not take advantage of one of the many special supermarket offers? The M&S Dine In for Two offer is an incredibly popular choice for Valentine’s Day, with a starter, main, side dish, dessert, chocolates and bottle of prosecco for £20.

5. Loving you is a piece of cake

Make (or buy) cake, muffins, cookies or cupcakes and get creative with the toppings. Cut a heart stencil from paper and use sprinkles to make a colourful topping. Try using sweets to spell out both of your initials, or buy a cheap icing pen (Sainsbury’s sell their own in various colours for less than £2). You could even make your own cake toppers using skewers and photos – sandwich two pictures around the top of a skewer or cocktail stick, glue them together, stick in the cake and you have a personalised Valentine’s treat. If your partner prefers savoury snacks, create the same special treat with a pizza. Stick on some Netflix and tuck in for a quiet night at home.

How to make friends and feed people

6. Valentine’s vouchers

Handwrite some cute Valentine’s vouchers along foodie themes. For example: 

• This voucher entitles you…to one meal out of your choice
• Use this card to redeem…one chocolate run to Sainsbury’s
• This coupon is for… a wild night of VKs and Van of Life
• This gift card is good for … one late night library delivery of snacks and coffee
• Use this token to … steal my chips even though you specifically said you weren’t hungry and didn’t want your own portion
• Show me for … a takeaway meal from Deliveroo (BONUS: I’ll collect it from outside so you can stay warm inside)

And if all else fails, just stick on one of those edible candy thongs – that way either they’ll have something to eat, or they’ll be so put off food that these tips won’t matter anyway