As if freshers’ Facebook pages, referendums, fake club nights, college group chats and Amatey Doku didn’t offer enough internet beef in Cambridge, along came Grudgebridge.

Claiming to make Cambridge less awkward – “one declaration of irritation at a time” – the Facebook platform began earlier this week, apparently as a parody of the anonymous sharking mechanism-cum-poetry slam training camp Crushbridge.

Both profiles have followed Memebridge, the Banksy of student social media, as the latest in a flood of Cambridge-based Facebook fads.  

“Grudgebridge aims to make us all the butt of the joke,” its nameless founder professes, and yet we do appear to reserve our hottest roasts for certain types of Cambridge students.

The fakes are first in the firing line. Grudgebridge fans are notorious for laying into the type of person who swaggers around talking slang they would never dare to say in front of their school friends and using phrases like, “Go college, get knowledge.”

They go in hardest of all against anyone who actually says “Sesh”.

Next up, the occasional student who defies a character profile – barely a sentient human, but a balloon of privilege. The number of people who have posted or liked posts ripping into the £20 note-burner shows that Cambridge is united against bigots.

Most Uni members are sickened to be associated with the incident.

Thankfully, the rest of the complaints mostly display Cambridge students doing what they do best: self-deprecation. Especially, it seems, where it involves animals.

But the Grudgebridge banter is still a long way off its climax there...