Ed:

King’s 1-0 Selwyn

King’s faced Selwyn in their opening match. This fixture last season provided a pivotal confidence booster for King’s. They beat Selwyn 6-3 in Cuppers, a result that triggered a run of good results in the league and ultimately helped them stay up.

Both defences were well organised, leaving just scraps for the respective frontlines to feed off. It came as no surprise then that the game would be decided by only one goal. That goal came just before half time after a well-worked King’s press resulted in Rade Meech-Taci slotting the ball into an open net.

Fearing the loss, Selwyn resorted to the dark arts of football. My personal favourite was one player complaining to the referee that one of the King’s players had shouted “leave it” to his own player. He demanded a free kick. Maybe it’s because I’ve never played football to a high enough standard, but this was a new one to me.

King’s 0-1 Queens’

Division One faced Division Two as Queens’ took on King’s in both sides’ second game of the mini-tournament.

King’s were without their scorer from the first, Rade Meech-Taci, as he had to attend Blues Tennis Trials. Things took a turn for the worse when the King’s College captain gave me the nod to start as striker. A position in which my only reference point was watching Lee Gregory and Michael Smith tear League One apart last season for Sheffield Wednesday.

Queens’ opened the scoring with a Louis Charvill goal. It must be noted that Charvill was in non-regulation kit, a fact that gifted King’s a fantastic excuse for their poor defending.

Just like in the King’s vs Selwyn match, one goal was enough to win it. King’s failed to properly test the Queens’ defence and the game petered out, along with my hopes of becoming KCFC’s No 9.

King’s 0-0 Robinson

Having had a tame two opening games, King’s wanted fireworks against Robinson. Unfortunately, however, there was not even a sparkler’s worth of excitement.

King’s, having lost their striker after the opener, were now without their goalkeeper. After some intense tactical discussion, the King’s captain deployed a now infamous system within the KCFC squad. Bearing in mind he had no strikers at his disposal, he chose to play a narrow 4-1-2-1-2 system, mirroring the tactics of every single FIFA 18 player.

The game may have ended 0-0 but, when these two face each other with full squads later in the season, there is potential for a classic.

Will:

Robinson 3-0 Queens’

After Binson’s relegation last season, hopes were not high for their opening match against Queens’. But with new freshers taking to the pitch on both sides, things looked very different from the 4-3 Queens’ victory last season.

Makafui Avevor was undoubtedly the difference on the right wing. He made the top right corner of the net bulge after a masterful Sufyan Chowdhury through ball in the first half, before beating the keeper again at the beginning of the second half to make it 2-0.

As the game drew to a close I took inspiration from my footballing idol Bruno Fernandes, meaning that after I was fouled on the edge of the box I managed to milk it enough to secure a free kick. When Maka stepped up to take it the outcome was inevitable, and the keeper was soon rummaging around in his onion-bag. 3-0, hat-trick, on to the next.

Robinson 1-2 Selwyn

Rivalry is unavoidable between Robinson and Selwyn. Not only are they neighbours on Grange Road, but they were also neighbours at the bottom of Division 1 last year, both being relegated to the Division 2 for the new season. With a frantic display in the first half, Robinson showed why.

Selwyn capitalised, and made it 1-0 going into halftime. After the restart however, Robinson were bright. The freshers combined well, and Felix Kind found the back of the net calmly after a Mylo Michaels pass.

Unfortunately, Robinson’s passage of good football did not last long, and Selwyn scored again to end the match 2-1 in their favour.

Queens’ 2-0 Selwyn

Due to our two correspondents playing in the Robinson vs King’s game, we can’t describe what happened in this one. But much to our dismay, in securing the victory, Queens’ also secured the title of overall winners.

The event was great fun for all involved however. And with substitute players as refs and linesman, teams with half their players missing kit, and raised voices used in place of whistles, the new freshers were able to get a very good idea of what college football is like.

Unfortunately, the article can’t end on this uplifting note, because I have to set the record straight. Where was the mention of our stonewall penalty in minute one Ed? Camfess will know about this crime against journalism! Disgrace!