River Police Prohibit Pimms-fuelled Punting
Anti-alcohol regulations look set to ensure that this year’s Suicide Sunday punt race is a sober one, threatening to leave student punters high and disconcertingly dry.
Conservators of the River Cam have voted to keep a watchful eye on the drunkenness of competitors in the race due to take place on June 17.
The annual event sees competitors punt along the Cam from Darwin Island to Trinity Punts and is traditionally fuelled by a cocktail of post-exam euphoria and a well-merited tipple after a taxing term, with Pimms of course a particular favourite among Cantabs.

This year’s race will see an on-board ceilidh and in previous displays of sophistication has involved a piano on a punt.
While Cam Conservators have been criticised for seeking to quash students’ fun, the river officials are adamant that they are acting in the interests of health and safety.
They fear it may descend into a “drunken boat fest” that is “fraught with danger,” proving hazardous to both students themselves and members of the public.

The Conservators will impose strict guidelines on organisers, who will be required to take a risk assessment, monitor student drunkenness and even provide proof of insurance if they are to win the river authority’s official sanction.
John Adams, chairman of the Conservators, said: “If we are comfortable that the event is properly regulated and is not just a drunken boat fest then it can go ahead.”
Ed Emery, the founder of the event and current admiral of the Peterhouse punt, said: “There are a lot of drunken punters on the river but they are not our racers,” calling the efficacy of the new regulations into question.
Defending the race’s record on health and safety, he said the appropriate measures had always been in place and that punt drivers were always sober, adding: “It is a wonderful event.”
If all goes to plan, the competitors will be spared from hangovers on the morning of the 18th. However, given the reaction to the proposals from students, it will be the Cam Conservators who will suffer from the ensuing administrative headache.
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