“How do you tell your crush you like them when you have absolutely no idea whether or not they feel the same way?”

There’s no ‘right way’ to tell someone that you like them, you just have to find a way that feels right to you. We see so much easy, magical romance in books and on telly; couples who find themselves in that one serendipitous moment when they ‘just know’, or people who make huge declarations of love in the pouring rain. It can be frustrating living in the real world sometimes, where usually everything doesn’t just beautifully fall into place. Yet, there are definite positives to not being a character in a romantic comedy: the pressure to create that perfect romance is gone, and you get to control how your love-story unfolds. There is no need to march up to someone and declare your feelings with wild passion, or to bring a Chagall along to your confession of love, à la Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. But, if you want to make a grand gesture, romantic-protagonist style, then why not? (although do consider how comfortable your crush might be with a public spectacle). Otherwise, if the thought of such a gesture fills you with intense fear and dread, keep it simple: just ask them to spend some time with you. Go for a walk, go for a drink, watch a movie, whatever takes your fancy. There are more ways to tell someone you like them than just blurting it out. That said, it might be worth adding the disclaimer that this one-on-one time is a date, just to avoid confusion, mixed-signals and general upset further down the line.

“Be proud that you were brave enough to put yourself out there”

In some ways I have jumped slightly ahead of myself here, since before you decide how to tell your crush that you like them, you have to decide whether you are going to tell them, which in many ways is a much more difficult decision. Pouring your heart out to someone is certainly a risk, and you have to decide whether it’s a risk that’s worth taking. If you want something to happen between you and your crush, then you have to be brave and be honest. When you like someone, there’s always a danger of slipping into a fantasy world and never getting any further than your imagination. Of course, this can be fun; mental romances are probably the closest we can get to that perfect love story – everything can fall into place and go exactly as you planned. However, I think that it’s very important not to pine away in that dream relationship and build a false image of your crush. And anyway, taking action and telling someone how you feel doesn’t have to ruin your chance of a fairytale ending, if all goes well.

While I absolutely encourage you to take the plunge and tell your crush how you feel, I must also caution that it might not turn out perfectly and there’s a chance that they may not like you back. You have to ask yourself how important the tiniest possibility of romantic happiness is to you. However, even if things don’t work out in the way that you hoped, you’ll be grateful to yourself for trying and your crush will respect you for your courage. If you keep it simple, there’s no need for it to be awkward, we’re all adults here – in theory! Even if they don’t feel the same, there are still some positives that you can take from the situation. Be proud that you were brave enough to put yourself out there, and one day when you like someone else, you’ll remember that bravery and it will make your next confession that much easier.

It can be daunting when you’re unsure of how someone feels about you, but there are some questions you can ask yourself and factors to consider that might make you feel more certain. Why is it that you have no idea how they feel about you? Do you not know them very well? Do they typically avoid expressing their feelings? Ask your friends how the two of you look when you’re together. Are you flirting, are you laughing, do you seem happy? If none of this helps, however, and you find yourself none the wiser, you don’t have to give up on the idea of revealing your feelings. We all admire those who are not afraid to be assertive when they need to be. Think about how you would feel if someone told you that they liked you. It might be both a relief and an exciting confidence boost for your crush for you to make the first move.

There’s a very simple answer to this question, and that is that you just have to do it. If you want something to happen and you have the chance to make that possible, then seize it! What have you got to lose?