Following their first meeting in 2004, it took Kanye nine years to put a $1.25 million 15 carat ring on it. If you thought the proposal was lavish, with a 50 piece orchestra and rented jumbotron in a hired-out Superbowl Stadium, you’re in for a top treat with the BIG DAY itself. Bring on the greatest celebrity wedding of the century.

Last Night – KONVOY of KIMYE’S KARS KAUSES KHAOS IN PARIS – over 600 guests in a konvoy of 90 cars blocked the streets to the Palace of Versailles for the lavish rehearsal dinner, at which Lana Del Rey performed Kim’s favourite song ‘Young and Beautiful’. Kim’s daring outfit choice led Kanye to announce that Kim “is more beautiful than I am talented”. High praise indeed.

09:00 – Venue konfirmed as the Forte di Belvedere in Florence; it cost the kouple $420,000 to rent, and a no-fly zone has been set up to prevent paparazzi helicopters. Kimye decided on Florence due to their sentimental attachment, with Kanye gushing: "I adore Florence. I think that our daughter North was conceived here among the Renaissance masterpieces". Sweet. 

10:30 – Rumour has it that Beyonce and Jay-Z (despite being Kanye’s Best Man) were not at the rehearsal dinner, but do ‘intend’ to be at the ceremony in Florence. 

KAUTION: Rumour Alert!

Ray J plans to give Kimye a cut of their sex tape profits as a wedding gift. How generous – from the savings they’ve had to make here, I guess they need all the money they can get.

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11:19 – The Dress: apparently Kim will be wearing at least three dresses – valued at $2 million. Who will be honoured with the chance to dress the kueen of reality TV?

Valentino: Present throughout the wedding preparations, he even hosted an intimate lunch on the day of the rehearsal dinner for the kouple and their families. Several Valentino shop assistants caused speculation, arriving at Kimye’s Paris apartment with arms full of Valentino suit bags. 

Givenchy: Designer Riccardo Tisci has called Kim "the new Marilyn Monroe" before now, and is good friends with Kanye; will he be chosen to dress the bride – or the groom?

KAUTION: Rumour Alert!

Thelma Madine: The Big Fat Gypsy Weddings dress designer requested permission to design a dress for the bride’s big day, blowing Valentino out of the water. Her previous creations include a dress with moving butterflies and fairy lights, as well as a bridesmaid’s dress in the style of a pineapple. 

12:30 – KAKE KATASTROPHE – rumour has it that Kimye’s wedding cake has fallen over en route to Florence from Paris – pastry chefs are being drafted in, but Kim is "devastated". The possibility of having a helicopter fly it the rest of the way to avoid further disaster has been postulated. It is the obvious solution to the problem, surely?

13:22 – We get down to some Number Krunching:

$420,000 – the venue

$1,000,000 – the flowers

$2,000,000 – the dress

$2,000 per head for catering for 200 guests

$4,000 – Kourtney’s dress for brunch. 

$550 – pre-wedding vegan stem-cell facial for Kim

$3,000,000 – security for the wedding

$10,000 bottle of Scotch – a gift from Jay-Z to the groom

TOTAL SO FAR = $6,834,550 

(That’s minus the rental for the Palace of Versailles, booze, rings, and flights for all the guests)

For that amount of money, Cambridge students could:

a) buy 42,716 St John’s May Ball tickets, 

b) host a swap at Curry King for 546,764 people,

or c) punt until Sunday 30th January 2101. Yes, that’s 86 and a half years of punting fun. That’s just from the speculated costs released thus far. 

13:33 – Touchdown in Florence for Kanye in his private jet – cutting it a bit fine!

14:17 – NEWS JUST IN – KAKE KATASTROPHE averted – sources say the cake arrived before the groom and "it's seven tiers and about six feet tall. It has white icing with gold ribbon around the edges." Yum. 

14:31 – Fans gathered outside the fort’s walls have spotted a giant wall of white flowers being erected inside the venue – that’ll be where the $1 million went… Let’s hope Kim has plans to keep them from wilting under the Italian sun! 

14:34 – Taking a slightly more insightful journalistic approach, the wedding seems to have angered Prince Ottaviano de’Medici di Toscana – a descendant of the Medici family who first built the Forte di Belvedere – who has apparently never heard of Kim Kardashian. The Prince told the Telegraph that he felt the ancient fort was being rented out "for small change", and that "the damage done is greater." Read the full article here.

14:50 – Estimates of a 2pm start were way out – the guests have only just begun to arrive in Florence, some being flown from Paris on ‘West Air’; others like Jaden Smith and Steve McQueen flying from LA. 

15:40 – KEEP KALM – KIM’s ARRIVED. The bride has just touched down in Florence airport with her mum (mom?) Kris Jenner in tow. We could be in for a long wait.

KAUTION: Rumour Alert!

Cars carrying dozens of designer bags were spotted arriving at Kim’s hotel in Florence this morning – still no hint as to who the dress designer is, but rumour has it that Thelma was spotted tucking into a panini outside the Duomo around lunchtime…

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16:41 – It’s starting. All hope of revision has gone out of the window. Will the bride be on time? Will Thelma get her dream job? Will Kanye smile?

16:45 – Kimye have reportedly arrived at the venue. Still no word on Kim’s dress, or whether Kanye looks as though he is enjoying himself. E! (the company that makes Keeping up with the Kardashians) has reported that Kim rode to the venue with her grandmother Mary Jo.

16:46 – Reports from paparazzi say that Kim dashed into the Forte di Belvedere wearing white, eschewing the tradition of avoiding white for a second marriage. Maybe she was ‘reborn’ after her 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries, and views Kanye as her one and only love. Or maybe she likes white. Who knows. (Who cares?)

17:16 – Kimye have banned their guests from Instagram – how will we ever see the dress?! Kris Jenner has been spotted with a large camera – good idea Kimye, get Mum to take the photos and save money on the photographer!

17:54 – IT’S HAPPENING! Kim’s biggest fan has just tweeted what looks like a long-lens photo of the ceremony taking place –with bridesmaids in white! Controversial! @UltimateKimK is actually followed by the real Kim K-W, so we can definitely trust this source at least as well as we can trust the DM. 

18:07 – People magazine have reported that Kim will take Kanye’s name after the wedding, using Kardashian as her middle name. 

With that, we round off today’s reporting. A day’s revision well spent, we’d say. Congrats, Mr and Mrs West.