A gentle nudge and black eye from the editor reminded me that Varsity was Best-of-the-Web-free for Week 6. A suitable justification may be offered: I submitted a piece of work (the second this year in fact) and felt a congratulatory holiday was deserved, and so spent several days on a boat in Sweden. This is what allows me to start off this super-charged bonus blog post with:

7 simple reasons to love Sweden in week 7:

1. They know how to mock themselves

2. Their future queen is rather supportive of minority communities

3. Though some things just aren’t allowed

4. Their museums are almost threateningly liberal

5. Though more importantly, the ABBA museum is a real thing, and they have this piano:

6. They love a good pun

7. Their future-future queen is already unimpressed by most of her kingdom

And onto the web…

1. Cat (café) of the week

Big cat of the week:

On that theme is this week's honourable mention. Now would ya look at this:

Winner: Yes. It’s finally here. Or if you were unaware that is was coming, a cool thing opened on Saturday. London finally got its own cat café and the preview videos abound.

You cannot book to visit the café, however. It is too popular. And you’d have to spend your time with people who book a trip to see some cats three months ahead. That is excitement of a sort that gives me hives.

Editing this, I would like to point out that I am aware polar bears are not cats. It’s a polar bear that gives hugs, let’s just celebrate that.

2. Winning an argument against yourself.

Once upon a time there was a boy called Jeremiah. Even though Jeremiah was only 12 (and so it’s 1992ish by my reckoning), he understood the importance of media platforms and that if he could viral, life would be very good for him. Surveying the internet which didn’t really exist in a way that permitted procrastination, he worked out a brilliant way to become noted on the web. He set the wheels in motion and interviewed his future self. After 20 years, and the ability to convert VHS to YouTube, the wonder is ready for broadcast.

3. The road to Eurovision: Spain forgets what its priorities should be.

Spain’s entrant has been chosen, and we have another reason for why banning the internet would be a good idea. Remember Ruth Lorenzo? She was the Spanish one on X-Factor that Simon insisted sang in Spanish every week, and then knocked out Laura White and there was a debate in parliament about it. Louis Walsh made lots of jokes about her breasts, because it was five and a half years ago and apparently that was fine to do then. Well she’s back, with her cancion Dancing in the Rain. The Spanish selection came down to a neck-and-neck tussle between Ruth and The Voice alumnus Brequette, and despite Ruth winning the public vote, many aren’t happy. In a time where political and economic turbulence rocks Spain and further afield, it’s heartening to see just how angry Eurovision makes people and how really they should be worried about other things.

See if watching Ruth’s song makes you similarly angry in your typing.

4. Film that I can’t believe was made but am very happy was of the week: KILLER CONDOM (1996). 

Varsity goes NSFW.

With a desolation of topics available, my fourth-year project involves reading every book the UL has on safe-sex, condoms and naughty things. One consequence has been that the librarian in the West Room has stopped looking me in the eye as she hands me copies of the The New Joy of Gay Sex. The better consequence has been numerous journals pointing me to the 1996 classic Killer Condom. Let’s set the scene: we’re in New York, and everyone speaks German. In a rundown hotel, the condoms have become sentient, and developed a taste for flesh. Detective Luigi Macaroni is on the scene, once he can shake off a fling that has turned to drag to deal with his sense of rejection. The whole thing may be on Youtube. Is that ethical? Who knows. Here’s a preview:

And finally...

In need of inspiration for the final stretch of Lent 2014, remember these sage words: THUMBS UP FOR ROCK AND ROLL:

Just don’t apply to the BBC:

.