No Cambridge student is a stranger to the Trailer of Life: tasty(ish), convenient and dangerously close to all (three) of Cambridge’s major nightlife venues, it’s been a good friend to all of us. But if you’re running low on cash or you’re just not feeling a burger and chips, we’re here for you, with some of our favourite and most convenient snacks to whip up after a night on the town.

When it comes to drunk snacking, there are a few important criteria to consider:

1. How much closer to human will it make you feel in the morning?
2. How likely is it to end with you setting your gyp room (or yourself) on fire?
3. Is it delicious (or are you too drunk to care)?
4. And for the more health-conscious, will it actually make you stop eating?

Here are a few treats that score high on these fronts and are stumbling, slurring, student-proof: get drunk and dig in.

Water

It’s obvious but don’t forget it. A glass of water when you get in, before you go to sleep, after you get up, basically at every and any possible point. We all know it makes a huge difference and your head will feel it the morning after.

Pot noodle

Pot noodles are hydrating, especially as they contain a combination of salt and sugar, which stops you losing water. In addition, they are super easy; just put the kettle on and you’re off. A good old pot noodle will replenish your electrolytes (allegedly). Miso soup, available in just-add-water packets, does the same, as well as aiding digestion (allegedly).

Peanut butter and banana toastie*

As simple as anyone could wish, this combination contains protein, potassium and sugar that will fill you right up. As alcohol is high in sugar, it prompts your body to produce more insulin than usual to process it. As a result, blood sugar levels are depleted, which is why we crave sugar and carbs after drinking. To add some complex carbohydrates to this snack, spread your banana and PB on some wholemeal toast (only if you’re feeling able to safely operate a toaster that is).

*inclusion of bread dependent on sobriety

Popcorn

This is a lighter way of drunk snacking, and probably more appropriate for a lighter level of drunk. It has the hot and salty factor that a lot of us crave after a night out, but is a lot less greasy than chips or crisps. However, messy factor is high. DO NOT give to intoxicated friends: crushed popcorn kernels are no fun to clear up.

Cereal straight from the box

If you are no stranger to overindulgence, you will be familiar with this beauty. Sometimes, once you reach home, you know that you have 60 seconds max to cram in some food before you are well and truly unconscious. This is when cereal from the box is perfect. No waiting time, no faffing with crockery: just stuff a few handfuls into your mouth. You will probably miss your mouth a few times. You can eat this while lying on your bed, then wake up in the morning and breakfast is right by your side. Cereal never lets you down.

These tried and tested drunken snacks do the trick without pouring the cash out of your wallet or the fat into your arteries. No matter how many slices of toast you manage to make, it won’t be worse than a 500-calorie Big Mac, so stock up on the miso!