Maria is a ‘third-culture kid’, a term few interviewed had heard of, despite living the experience it describes. The expression, coined in the 1950s by sociologist Ruth Useem, refers to those under 18 who spent their formative years in a foreign country. It captures the psychological challenge of growing up without a strong, stable foundation, adrift between islands of culture.

Growing up outside your home country can come with many privileges. For Maria, a Colombian student who grew up in the Middle East, it meant learning languages rarely taught in the UK. This allowed her to communicate and exchange ideas with people beyond her passport country. Growing up in Singapore, a nation founded on interculturality and renowned for its diverse cultural heritage, allowed me to meet people from around the world.

“as a foreigner, she could not be fully part of a culture that was not her own”

Although many third-culture kids (TCKs) experience different cultures, we often find ourselves unanchored to any one of them. A 2023 study by Lucy Doherty revealed that third-culture kids grapple with a subdued, quiet sense of grief: a loss of identity, culture and of friends who inevitably move away. The joy and intrigue of experiencing various cultures is tempered by the lingering question of whether you’ve ever entirely belonged to any of them.

Sheila, who is Indian but grew up in Singapore, believes she did not have the ‘Singaporean’ experience. She went to an international school and felt that, as a foreigner, she could not be fully part of a culture that was not her own.

In my own experience, Singapore, though a richly diverse nation, remains divided between different nationalities. My school was a microcosm of the country, with those of the same race grouping together. I experienced Singapore not as its locals live it, but a westernized, expatriate version. My international school environment became a cultural bubble where English norms and values were transplanted and diluted, making the country feel like a distorted echo of the one I had left. 

The culture from your home country feels like something glimpsed from the outside, and the subtle reminders that you’ve grown up elsewhere, such as your accent, betray you. Sheila shares that when she returns to India, she feels isolated not only in terms of not knowing many people there but also mentally: it is difficult for others to relate to her experience. She admits that, “my parents cannot truly understand me, as they’ve lived some of their lives in India and have not had their childhood in a different country.” Maria finds this lack of welcoming and understanding in her home country “disheartening.”

“I feel like I have no sense of home at all”

For TCKs, the definition of home itself changes. For Marie, “culture became less significant.” Annika, who grew up in Singapore, echoes this sentiment. She tells me that her sense of home has been reduced to the familiar landscapes, streets, and buildings that she can recognize, but that do not provide the warmth and comfort that culture and belonging do. In Annika’s words, “I feel like I have no sense of home at all.”

All interviewees expressed a desire to be part of a culture. They also expressed the sense of loss they felt as their homes had become defined in superficial terms: the physical, recognisable landscape.

In Fresher’s Week, these anxieties creep back with the seemingly simple question: ‘where do you come from? ’  As Sheila admits, she resorted to convenient half-truths, lying where she grew up to avoid a complicated, laborious answer. She also outlined how in Fresher’s Week, a sense of nationality and community was key to building friendships: societies based on specific countries do not reflect the complex identities of third-culture kids.

However, Cambridge has the potential of becoming the first true home for some TCKs. Annika describes the sense of belonging she feels at Cambridge for the “first time” in her life. University is a new start for most students; for third-culture kids, it is the first chance to be part of a culture and community.  Annika and Maria mentioned how their fear of farewells declined at Cambridge, where the stability of the community provides a sense of comfort and assurance.

Third-culture kids are an unspoken minority at the university. We are caught in a liminal space where we don’t fully belong to any one nation’s culture or community. Yet, Cambridge offers Sheila, Annika, and many other students the opportunity to carve out a sense of belonging and establish a home within the university’s own distinct culture. For many TCKs, it becomes a place where belonging is genuinely established and nurtured, transforming uncertainty into meaningful, stable connections.