Dear Varsity,

“Alasdair MacKinnon” has run into a little female trouble at the moment and has disappeared: leaving it to me, the one and only Milo Raval, his fiercest rival, bosom friend and star of all five of his Tab fashion shoots (oh, are we allowed to mention them yet?) to dispatch the dispatch. Fasten your seatbelts.

Your correspondent was last heard saying something like “Of all the gin-joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” This was in reference to a prostitute he lived with in Paris who turned up here and doesn’t like him because he stole his cigarettes, and shirts, and made him do all the washing up. Personally I think he could have thought of something more original to do with his summer than being penniless in Paris, and I hope the inevitable novel he writes about it is a dismal failure. Simultaneously, his man decided Sunday morning never to speak to him ever again, has been posting heartbroken Emily Dickinsons on his blog, and has his only pair of shoes.

So somewhere in the city that never sleeps because it’s on a comedown until Thursday, a barefooted boy in a lace shirt belonging to a Parisian prostitute is drowning his self-inflicted sorrows, numbing his existential pain... He’s on a binge. And the only place to binge is a little club I won’t name, because it’s the best place in the world, and if you all started coming there, well:

We saw, but surely in the motley crowd
Not one of us has felt, the far-famed sight:
How could we feel it? Each the others blight,
Hurried and hurrying volatile and loud.
(Wordsworth.)

A dirty hole with an indoors and an outdoors where everyone’s a loser because they take drugs. Everyone there’s nice to you because they take drugs. You probably have nothing in common with any of them (except that you take drugs, loser) but they’re family, from Thursday night ‘til... – next Thursday morning. You stay still, the world revolves around you.

This is the place where Ali usually makes a pithy comment.

Milo Raval

 

Catch up with the decadent exploits that led Alasdair MacKinnon to this point of no return:

Hello to Berlin

SOS - and bring sausages

"A perfectly normal boy"

Sex and the city (of Berlin)

The Great Game

Blood! Urine! Hamburg! (a Halloween Special)