To Love in Fear

Alfie Vaughan is a poet and first year undergraduate, studying French and Portuguese at Trinity Hall. He is also his college’s JCR LGBTQ+ officer

Henry Scott Tuke, *Green and Gold*Christie's

To Love in Fear

by Alfie Vaughan

Monday June 4 2018, 12:04pm

In his hands I feel
The safest I have ever felt,
And the most at harm;
Because I know that while his protect me,
Those of others may hurt me.

In his eyes I find
The most love I have ever known,
And the most hate;
Because in the corner of his loving gaze
Are others’ judgement and disgust.

From his lips I hear
The kindest words I have ever heard,
And the most biting:
His “I love you!” gives me hope;
I’m called “faggot!” and it’s snatched back.

With his kiss I see
My life flash before my eyes.
I feel happy, loved, alive;
Until the arms of a stranger,
Wrench him out of mine.

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