I started costuming plays because I wanted to use my charity-shopping powers for the greater good. Buying clothes for other people, I reasoned, would be a surefire way of buying fewer clothes for myself.

This was flawed logic, because the Cambridge charity shops are of a very high standard and there is always, always space for more jackets. But costuming turned out to be a gateway into stage management, and stage management turned out to be fun. So I’ll be spending this weekend lugging cartloads of crockery down to the Corpus Playroom for The Beauty Queen of Leenane, a darkly hilarious play set in rural Ireland.

Cambridge is known for being a hub of intellectual activity, but as a stage manager you often find yourself asking the really big questions. For Beauty Queen these have included: how much yellow food colouring do I add to get the right colour for urine? And is it worth pursuing a multi-sensory theatrical experience by adding scent? How many creepy china dolls is too many creepy china dolls? And, overwhelmingly: who buys this stuff in real life?Over the last couple of weeks I have been from Oxfam to Cancer Research, from Cancer Research to the Salvation Army, from the Salvation Army to the deepest, darkest recesses of eBay. I have been the person who buys huge, floral granny nighties that somebody probably died in. I have been the person who shrieks with joy to receive a kitschily painted chamber pot in the post.

My journey as a stage manager has been one of self-discovery. I am beginning to come to terms with the fact that I am a hoarder; and to reconnect with a latent passion for spreadsheets and list-making. It has also been empowering. The actors know that I control what they eat onstage. They know how easy it would be to slip chilli powder into their porridge, or to switch the Horlicks they’ll be drinking instead of Complan for actual Complan.In such an academic environment it’s a relief to have a creative outlet. Sometimes all you need on a Friday night is to kick back, relax and mix up a tub of fake blood.And it’s been exciting to watch what what I think will be a truly fantastic production coming together.You should come and see Beauty Queen if you appreciate brilliant writing and brilliant acting. Or, alternatively, if you want to know why I’m waiting for a fire poker to turn up in my pigeonhole…

The Queen of Leenane opens at the Corpus Playroom on Tuesday 19th May.

The trailer can be found here.