The weather’s nice (at times), exams are over (mostly), and Cambridge’s clubs are starting to fill up again, as relief leads to alcoholism. For a small minority however, nerves are actually increasing, as all these things also herald the impending May Bumps. Across the university rowers will be engaging in socially awkward and dubiously effective ‘drinking bans’ and cramming in a last few hours in sweaty lycra to make sure they’re ready for this term’s races. Without the cancellations and disruption of last term, it’s time to hazard a guess as to what will happen when almost 1400 students take to the river later this week.

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Men's First Division

            Top 3 Head of the Cam: Caius, LMBC, Downing

            Top 3 Head to Head: LMBC, Downing, Christ’s

            Top 3 Champs Eights: Caius, Downing, LMBC

            Nines Regatta winners: Clare

At the top end of the river, not much looks set to change. Caius continue to be the fastest crew around, despite their dethronement in Lents, while Downing have eked out enough time across term to be fairly confident of holding off LMBC. Jesus are a bit of an unknown quantity, having failed to turn up for any race, despite several entries, but probably won’t pose the top three any serious problems. Further down, first and third look set to finish the week with a lovely set of spoons, but as often happens all the crews from seventh to twelfth seem to be around the same speed, so lots of row-overs predicted. There’s a clump of slower crews at the bottom of the division, who might be at risk of falling into second division if they didn’t have safety in numbers. Peterhouse look unlikely to repeat their success of 2013, being without the stern pair of that boat, while Fitz will probably end the week substantially down.

Men's Second Division

            Top 3 Head of the Cam: Jesus II, Robinson, LMBC II

            Top 3 Head to Head: Magdalene, Robinson, Selwyn

            Top 3 Champs Eights: Robinson, Magdalene, LMBC II

            Nines Regatta winners: Magdalene

For once, there are some quick crews around at the top of the second men’s division, with both Robinson and Magdalene competitive with crews in the top half of the first division in races. Despite online rumours of a particularly quick Selwyn crew (not seen at Champs Eights or Nines), both of these should be looking to go up, and maybe even take a set of Blades. LMBC II will also be looking to move up, although they may find their progress impeded if one of Robinson or Magdalene fails to bump on a couple of days. Tit Hall and Caius II look set to do badly, with Tit Hall hoping to avoid their fourth set of spoons in four sets of races (Lents and Mays, 2013 and 2014). Jesus II will look to make headway through the middle of the division, and Hughes Hall and Eddie’s will see if their returning blues make a difference, if indeed they are rowing – rumours of political disturbance in Hughes Hall Boat Club abound. At the bottom, expect Corpus to make a return to the second division.

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Women's First Division

            Top 3 Head of the Cam: Downing, LMBC, Catz

            Top 3 Head to Head: Emmanuel, Downing, Christ’s

            Top 3 Champs Eights: Downing, Emma, Caius/LMBC

            Nines Regatta winners: Caius

There appears to be less consistency of speed in the W1 division than its male equivalent this year, with a few very fast crews and then several who look off the pace. Clare seem likely to lose the headship gained on the last day of 2013, and could even end the week down substantially, as Downing, Emma, and Caius move up. Jesus, again, have failed to start any of the races, so are unknown, although it seems unlikely they’ll maintain their position in third. In the middle of the division, LMBC are hotly tipped for blades as long as they can hit Christ’s before they bump Pembroke on Wednesday. Peterhouse could follow them up two or three, as well.

Women's Second Division

            Top 3 Head of the Cam: LMBC II (no other entries)

            Top 3 Head to Head: Homerton, Darwin, Wolfson

            Top 3 Champs Eights: Wolfson, Murray Edwards, Jesus II/Emmanuel II

            Nines Regatta winners: Wolfson

A relative dearth of race results makes this division a harder one to predict. Wolfson seem very likely to move up, having beaten the two crews in front of them by 30 seconds over a 1500m course at Champs Eights. Murray Edwards will be looking to make an assault on the first division, too, but otherwise this seems like a division with relatively little adjustment going on – basically, any predictions I make would be based on nothing but prejudice, so I’m not going to try. Should be fun to watch.

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Lower Divisions

Further down than the first two divisions and prediction becomes a dangerous game. Inexperienced crews and nervous coxes often result in these divisions producing the most carnage. The few remaining M1s and W1s will have benefited from their ability to go out in evening hour, while the crews that have taken the opportunity to get in race experience will be sitting more comfortably on the start line than their opposition, who will have their first chance to prove their worth in the most testing of races. In Mays, unlike Lents, it’s also worth looking out for the plethora of beer boats hoping to get in – many of them certainly have the grunt to do well, but can any of them actually row a boat? Tit Hall’s beer boat, it seems, is being stroked by ex-Goldie rower Rowan Lawson, which could make them one to watch.

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If you fancy a go at predicting Bumps yourself, this year sees two platforms:

1. The traditional Bumpit, at www.firstandthird.org

2. www.fantasybumps.co.uk, a chance to invest in your favoured crews and individual rowers

Whatever happens, May Bumps is a great chance to watch one of Cambridge’s odder idiosyncrasies, as well as drink Pimm’s in the afternoon and early evening. Head out along the towpath and enjoy!