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Nothing racy in ‘tower of porn’

For decades it has been an object of intrigue, speculation and myth making. However, a new cataloguing enterprise has dispelled the myth that the University Library tower houses a collection of pornographic texts.

Whilst established student hearsay has consistently nurtured visions of an illicit pornographic repository, as featured in Stephen Fry’s first novel The Liar, staff now busy classifying its contents insist that the tower contains “nothing racy”.
As part of a new cataloguing enterprise sponsored by the US-based Mellon Foundation, the Cambridge University Library Tower Project currently has a team of seven dedicated experts meticulously sorting through the tower’s 200,000 texts. Focused upon literature produced between 1805-1905, the cataloguers maintain that they have uncovered nothing more risqué than distinctly genteel guides to the finer points of Victorian romantic etiquette.

The Library tower has consistently captivated the student imagination ever

since its construction in 1934. Although countless curious observers have attempted to gain access to the 157-foot high chamber, no student is believed to have successfully uncovered its contents.

Over generations of aborted exploratory missions, the answer to the tower’s enigma soon became evident – the seventeen floors of secrecy could only contain an illicit stash of scandalous pornographic literature. As a copyright library receiving copies of every published text, what else could explain the occult of a tower described by Neville Chamberlain as that “magnificent erection”?

The Tower Project has discredited the long established legends of scandal. Certain texts bear such interesting titles and chapter headings as ‘A Young Girl’s Wooing’, ‘Suggestive Tones’ and ‘His Secret Out’, but most of the books are romance novels of the most eminently polite flavour, in which superbly named characters such as Psyche Danvers and Lieutenant Jack Holdsworth trip to provincial France, face frightful emotional misunderstandings but